The Adventures of the Lows

drama!!!!!

2012-02-11T09:37:00.000-08:00

OH MY GOODNESS....I had to figure out how to detach my old biola email address from this blog to a new one...I thought I was techy-I apparently am not since it took me a hour to figure it out. SO...It's been almost a year since my/our last post about our family adventures. I want to try to fix that. I have a LOT to catch you up on....i'll attempt to post a small novel (i promise!) each day to start to update you. In the meantime...we off to Basketball practice for the little guy! Talk to you soon : )

Let the snowball begin!!!

2011-03-10T16:09:00.000-08:00

For those of you who have followed our journey through debt....I just wanted to share a wonderful bit of news!! Back in November, I was asked to sub in my mom-in-laws district office to help out with office work. As of today, March 10th, we have paid off our first credit card!!! We have four more to go....but, we need to celebrate the 'wins' here!! We are celebrating by having a 'destroy the card' night with the kids since they have sacrificed as well with me going back to work.

Also...be praying. There might be the opportunity to have a permanent job at the district only working 25hrs a week for 11 months!! That would make sure i'd be home in time to pick up the kids from school....and have July off with them this summer!! We'd have to figure out two weeks in June and two weeks in August....BUT....it'd be pretty awesome.

Thank you all for your support over these months and years. It's been such a blessing.

YAHOO!!!!!

catching up

2011-02-20T08:55:00.000-08:00

Do you ever feel like you are constantly catching up!??! I just found our small digital camera with photos from before christmas!! Here is one of our Adventures in Glendale to see the 'snow' and santa...

At the Americana, they did that bubble snow for about 15m. We ran so fast to get to where the snow would be (we were stuck in traffic getting there) while Ry drove to find a parking spot.

And every mad dash to see snow and santa would only be complete by an In n Out dinner!!!

So....at least it's not Easter when i'm posting these!!

SNOW

2011-02-20T08:51:00.001-08:00

We experienced this beautiful view this morning outside our window

I don't think that I will ever get used to this lovely view...I love our foothills

This is right outside our porch. Good Morning, Sunday! We love this welcomed cold weather!
have a great Sunday, friends!

Back to school...

2011-02-06T22:07:00.000-08:00

I'm back to school at Biola now. Last Monday was the first Monday back. Sitting here at the computer getting my Monday schedule down...planning out direction sessions...thinking of questions to ask about the books the classes are reading...realizing I should have read more this weekend than clean and watch the Super Bowl and write a short post on the blog...sigh...

BUT...the weekend was a.maz.ing! The weather was beautiful and we had plans all weekend and all of a sudden they all got dropped due to illness (we have been sick on and off since we moved here-hurray allergies). So we were home all weekend instead of traveling all about. How nice was that to just have a free weekend!

What did you all do? How was your Super Bowl ? : ) Have a great week!

latest crock pot find

2011-02-02T11:45:00.000-08:00

This recipe was very well received. We had friends who also needed a meal that night (don't you hate when you discover that you have NO food in your fridge!) and it yielded enough food for their family of six and ours of four! We just added a quick quesadilla for their dear veggie daughter, a bag of salad and made a full pot of couscous (didn't have enough rice, which I think would have been the best side for this dish) and it fed us all...well!!! and even the kids loved it and went back for more. In case the link doesn't work, here is the recipe:

--12 boneless, skinless chicken thighs, or 6 boneless, skinless breast halves
--1 cup brown sugar (it's okay. you can brush your teeth after.)
--1/4 cup lemon-lime soda (stay with me...)
--2/3 cup vinegar (I used white wine, but think regular white would be fine)
--3 cloves smashed and chopped garlic
--2 T soy sauce
--1 tsp ground black pepper

The Directions.

Use a 4 quart crockpot for this recipe.

Plop the chicken into your crockpot. Cover with the brown sugar, pepper, chopped garlic, and soy sauce. Add the vinegar, and pour in the soda. It will bubble!

Cover and cook on low for 6-9 hours, or on high for 4-5. The chicken is done when it is cooked through and has reached desired consistency. The longer you cook it, the more tender it will be.

Serve over a bowl of white rice with a ladle full of the broth.

Enjoy!!

Yummy chicken!

2011-01-03T20:29:00.000-08:00

So...this is sooooo so simple....the latest crock pot meal!

take your frozen chicken...dump it in your crock pot....
pour over a bottle of salsa (we use pace picante medium)
turn on low for the day...
come home. turn off. pull out chicken. it just tears all apart...it's shredded amazing juicy chicken for burritos and nachos for dinner.

do it!!
if you have more crock pot meals, send them my way : ) i'll test them out on our fam. the kids loved the chicken-but i didn't tell them about it-i just made their burritos and they ate them! if i would have told them salsa was the main ingredient-i would have lost them!

enjoy!

Crock Pot Lasagna

2011-01-02T13:13:00.001-08:00

This is a tried and approved recipe from my very casserole hating husband. He doesn't do lasagna, ever...in our marriage or pot lucks...he'll eat it just because he doesn't want to offend, but inside he just doesn't like it at all. But...I asked him if i could try this recipe on him-and he LIKED it...he even at more the next day and said "this is better the next day"!! YIPPEE!!
My dear friend from high school Christine posted this on my facebook when I did a call out to everyone to share some crockpot recipes that didn't need a lot of fuss. You do need to cook the beef first-BUT...it's quick and not intense. Here ya go!! Enjoy!!

Christine's Crock Pot Lasagna

1 lb lean ground beef ( i use ground turkey)
1 onion, chopped
2 garlic cloves, smashed
1 (28 ounce) can tomato sauce
1 (6 ounce) can tomato paste
1 1/2 teaspoons salt
1 teaspoon dried oregano
12 ounces cottage cheese (I use reduced fat)
1/2 cup grated parmesan cheese or 1/2 cup asiago cheese
12 ounces lasagna noodles, uncooked
16 ounces shredded mozzarella cheese
Change Measurements: US | Metric

Directions:Prep Time: 15 mins
Total Time: 4 1/4 hrs
1 Brown ground beef, onion and garlic in frypan.
2 Add tomato sauce, tomato paste, salt and oregano.
3 Cook long enough to get it warm.
4 Spoon a layer of meat sauce onto the bottom of the slow cooker.
5 Add a double layer of uncooked lasagna noodles (break to fit) and top with cheeses.
6 Repeat with sauce, noodles and cheeses until all are used up.
7 Cover and cook on low for 4 to 5 hours.

A.MAZ.ING. chili!!

2010-12-22T11:26:00.000-08:00

so...our dear friend Claudette gave me this recipe-and it's the most amazing chili ever!! Has a sweetness to it that is just dreamy! Enjoy!

Auntie Clod's Homemade Chili:

2lbs of lean ground beef-do not drain
2 T olive oil
1 whole onion (i chopped it up real fine cuz the kids don't like onions)
2 packages of mild chili seasoning
2 T chili powder
2 T of tiger sauce (thailand) (don't worry if you can't find it-i didn't use it and it still tastes amazing!)
Brown the above in a large mixing pot (i actually just browned mine in a large skillet then transfered it into my stock pot-BUT i'm sure her suggestion is just fine too!)

4 cans of dark kidney beans
4 cans of italian style stewed tomatoes
2 bottles of prego (or other) tomato sauce
mix in with the large pot containing the above ingredients

here is the secret ingredient : ) 1/2 cup brown sugar. (sweet and spicy!)
bring to a boil, then turn heat to low and simmer for 1/2 hour.

Enjoy!!! a perfect meal for this gloomy weather! Thanks Auntie Clod!!!

Descanso

2010-12-21T10:07:00.000-08:00

For our 12 year wedding anniversary we bought a family pass to Descanso Gardens. THE BEST 80 bucks I think we've ever spent!! This is getting added into our budget for next year for SURE! Ry and I usually frequent it on our date Fridays (but not this past month b/c of my new job!) BUT...one Sunday our dear Charity came up to spend the weekend and we took her to see Descanso...and for the kids it was their first time! We rode the train and just ran all around. It was awesome. Don't you love the holly tree!? Just Christmasy!

Bragging

2010-12-21T10:03:00.000-08:00

So...can I brag?! I have to here since I didn't get that cheesy bumper sticker! Emily was student of the month and Will received a principals award!! SOOO proud of you cuties! They both received a free meal at Marie Calendars, so we went that night to celebrate them!
My heart is full!

provision

2010-12-21T09:26:00.000-08:00

I've been so busy since my last post...i'm sorry it's been so long. So...you could probably assume why i'm so busy...kids...house...new church...new life...but, in addition to all of that lovely-ness, I was busy with something else.

Many of you know that last year I stopped shopping to examine motivations in my heart about this addiction of mine. Along with that addiction, and years of us as a couple not being on the same page about our finances (again, as many of you know who have walked this journey with us) we have a significant about of credit debt to get rid of. We thankfully are never late and can always make the minimum, BUT...how is that getting rid of it? One morning after dropping off the kids at school, Ry and I went out on our Friday morning date to talk (we both were home on Fridays). I had been home and commuting to Biola for two days of work this past semester, but that was not going to be enough anymore. That paycheck thankfully paid for our car issues (seriously, does anyone else have as many issues with their accord and civic as we do?!!??!) and we didn't use the credit cards (which we would have had to have done in the past-this is a huge shift for us!). But, something needed to change to help us break through and start making progress towards freedom. We decided I needed a job. Biola is only semester to semester, and not always work I can count on (depending on enrollment etc...). So, we prayed, and then went on our day.

Monday afternoon we had a meeting with our financial guy. Before that meeting my mom in law called and asked if I needed a job. I laughed as she had no idea about our talk on Friday! She knew it was on the table to talk about, but not that soon! So, I said yes and after our financial guy also confirmed I needed a job, we left that meeting with a voicemail from Linda who said she had a job for me! It's just subbing in her office in the school district she works in. I got all the paper work turned in, and the week after Thanksgiving, I started working! Three days at the district, and my two days at Biola. Welcome back to commuting life! I used to commute long ago when I worked at a law firm for years and years. So...it is only a sub job, but i have it till March and as I meet folks up in the offices there, they ask when i'm available and ask for my number! so, we have totally been provided for!!

Isn't that awesome! The drive in the morning to work is early, but it is beautiful watching the sun rise and there is no traffic! (because i leave soooo early!). Coming home, there is and it's not been fun, but i'm pretty use to the drive now and i'd LOVE suggestions for some music and podcasts to listen to/upload to my ipod.

Everytime I think about how hard this is to be away from the kids, I think-we have free child care after school, Ry is right next door to them, and we've openly communicated with our kids about our situation and how we all together are not in an ideal situation, but if we work together, we can learn and grow together as a family about how to be better stewards of our money and to together get freedom!

I might (if i'm brave enough) post the progress we make from time to time. We are making a poster this week of where we are at and marking when we make progress! I'm so excited to finally be making progress!! We have made HUGE mental progress on learning how to live within our means (the past two years I'm so proud of us! The only time we used our card was to move twice this summer. I don't think we could have ever anticipated how expensive those moves were going to be!), not using our cards-heck, even Emily noticed the other day when I pulled out my ATM card to purchase some christmas GCs and she said to me, "hey, isn't that a credit card! you are not suppose to use that!" hello accountability! I hadn't made it to the ATM yet to get money, so I had to explain to her what I was using and I thanked her for noticing and calling me on it! Oh kids....

So...if you are doing something similar, i'd LOVE to know...any encouragement to keep me/us all going is great!! I'll label this 'freedom' so you can always check how we're doing. I'll be honest-i'll post our victories as well as our struggles. But I think it's imperative to not let money rule our life-not let our debt define us-because it doesn't. I can let it-but no longer. Freedom!!!

Furniture Fun

2010-11-14T20:26:00.001-08:00

We have met some dear new friends. The first night I met them, the dresser below
was in their living room. I gasped, and said, "that is soooo beautiful" they said,
"want it? we just re-did the girls room"
After I regained consciousness, I said, "i didn't mean to say that i wanted it"
they said, "oh, but you'd be doing us a favor"
Now, if you know me at all...this girl canNOT say no to free furniture.
It's against my DNA, i simply just don't have the will within me to deny furniture.
I said, "yes, thank you so much" as my insides lept a few dozen times.
A week later...
a dresser, matching desk, matching end table, another cute little desk and two twin beds arrived in my garage. HELLO!! Thank YOU Petersons!! You are my new BFF's!

Cue my husband and his sigh..."why do we need this?"

well....I did some re-arranging (as I usually do) and in a previous post I had a large pine bookcase which is now in our pantry (i know...odd place for a bookcase, BUT it's a free piece of shelving and storage that won't put holes in walls that our landlord sort of is against (shhh...don't tell him i have hung things! does he know who he's asking to NOT hang art or photos? um...hello?!?!)
So...I have this plain wall that now....

(the dresser before we sanded and painted it...we as in me and the kids)

Here it is below...all finished...occupying the space against the wall
where the previous bookcase was...complete with two wildflowers Ry picked for me on his bike ride with the kids while i was in a fury of re-arrangement.
(THANK YOU hunny for the flowers!!)

Inspiration for a yellow dresser from here

Still trying to figure out what I want on top of it...i guess it doesn't totally matter since Christmas is coming and what's on there will be dolled up for the holiday
(above and below are current options of arrangements)

Doesn't it just make you smile??!?! I know...a yellow dresser (hardware forthcoming)...but seriously, even when Ry came home tonight and gave me two wild flowers from the bike ride he took with the kids and they were yellow, i just smiled and said to my little gift of sunshine, "hello inspiration...welcome to your buddy, the yellow dresser"
I know...i'm a geek...what things in life geek you out? free furniture does that for me...free fabric...blogs with decor, dressing and sewing inspirations (although, sometimes those overwhelm me with what I don't have, or wish I could attain)
what inspires you?

i heart chocolate

2010-10-18T15:48:00.001-07:00

My boy...just like his dad...LOVES chocolate
This is him after a chocolate cream puff from Beared Papa's
at Americana. Just had to share...if you also notice in the bottom photo,
he's holding onto one last piece ; ) I don't blame him, the cream puffs are DI.VINE!

A top-twelve list....

2010-10-15T22:27:00.000-07:00

Our 12th wedding anniversary was a couple weeks ago! yahoo! we made it to 12 years!! We celebrated by going to a new location, but very beloved restaurant-Maggianos. We always...always get the maggiano's salad and split it, then I get the ravioli al forno and he gets joey d. It's heaven. And we conclude our love fest with Tirimisu. It was a great night to get away, just the two of us for a wonderful meal and conversation. With that in mind, here are 12 things I LOVE about Ryan...(I know...sappy..)

1) I have a disc of love songs he's written and recorded for me. I love his music.
2) I love that not a day goes by when I don't hear a pick up line from him.
3) I love that when he drives at night, he has to have the windows down. It reminds him of Disneyland rides at night.
4) I love that I can hear him coming home from about 100 yards at least away because his music is so loud in his car.
5) I love his patience with the kids and me
6) His grace towards me and my personal journey these past 5 years has been a model to me of Christ's love towards us and continues to inform how I relate to the kids, him, me and others around me in life
7) I love that he has given me permission this semester to settle into our new life post biola, and just to rest.
8) I love that he is a man...and that he wants to be bear gryls. And indeed, I do think, if a snake came our way, or if we needed to make shelter in the middle of the rain forest, he'd snap into man/bear mode and save the day. ; )
9) I love how he listens to people. (and me...and the kids too)
10) I love that he does the dishes.
11) I love that he doesn't mind that I drink coffee...obsessively.
12) and I love that after 12 years of marriage to my best friend, even when there are moments of frustration, or reconcilliation, I still can't believe how fast the years have gone and can't wait for so many more. I love you, ryan.

One Year

2010-10-15T22:03:00.000-07:00

There has been much transition going on, so I actually just occurred to me, about three weeks ago, that my birthday has passed....thus ending my year of abstaining from shopping. It was rather odd...I went shopping with my Aunt in law and realized this. I was in one of the top three places I LOVE almost more than coffee (almost!) Anthropologie. We wandered around...tried things on...and I used some birthday money, allowance and a gift card to pick up a several great little items. I left the store, we wandered more around another new favorite place out here, The Americana @ Brand in Glendale. LOVE this place. LOVE. We ate our way through all the little vendors...drove home. And the hunger came. The ideas came. The negotiations came. I began to reason in my mind about going back to pick up a couple other items. I started to think about not how I could repurpose things that I already had into something I had seen in the store. That hunger to want to go back stuck with me for a few days actually.

I don't know if I have come to any profound conclusion to this drive and desire. Also in retrospect, what is life going to look like now outside and inside a store with no said boundaries outside of my pocketbook? My first thought was rather condemning. "Well, this means that ends shopping for you again, you can't handle it." Well, perhaps that voice has a place in this discussion. However, I don't think that is what this past year's process was about. It was beyond way more than behavioral modification. It was not only to examine the drive behind the desire to shop, to look cute, to hide behind the facade of a perfect outfit...and it was not only to learn to actually spend within my means-which I must be frank-didn't always happen either even with clothing shopping out of the picture. And to be more frank-i'm thankful about the fact that I didn't do it perfectly! (that is so me though, to do it perfectly) If I was perfect about it, would that not defeat the whole purpose? The point was to not only turn to God in those moments of need-to need something greater than the temporary fix an outfit brought to comfort me, it was to not look to shopping as my be-all, end-all comforter. It was also to go to God and seek out why it was that I didn't trust His comfort and to thus seek a replacement in the first place and how to confide to Ryan and others in my life about struggles that I have.

The journey is not over. The issue isn't solved. I will want to shop, whether at my dear Anthro. Target or Jcrew...I will also want to shop for fabric and paint, homegoods and garage sales for things for our home...so now, how do I / we walk into spending, saving, paying off, teaching ourselves and our children how to also do those very things we are now learning?

For those who have journeyed with me on this, thank you for your comments and support through this whole year. I'm actually very thankful that this journey isn't over-the problem is not solved, I have had the mentality for too long that everything needs to have a neat and complete ending. The only thing that I pray will be over or done or fixed about this whole process is that when the desire to shop comes, what I have learned will remain, intervene when I need it to, and most paramount-lead me to the one who created me to have desires, drives and loves and how He'll not only fill them-but also show me how to shop in a way that is not manic, filling and replacing his post.

Our new home

2010-10-12T21:19:00.000-07:00

Hey all!!!! FINALLY...here are photos of our new home!!
Below...Ry's new piece of heaven...his very own
basketball hoop...oh heart be still

My little slice of heaven...our backyard

The TV room...yes, we have two living spaces and can have the TV
in another room...i LOVE that it doesn't dominate
our main living area

The dining area...the chairs are our very old great grandparents chairs
They will get a fresh coat of off white and the buffet will also get a new paint job

The below bookcase, came with the house and i think it works : ) still don't know
how I like the layout of the books...workin' on that still...

Random brick wall to go with the random wood walls...
and random wood hole in the wall
It used to house an aquarium from the owners

the bookcase below is going to be painted a dull yellow along with a
new dresser that i'm inheriting from a new friend that looks like the
buffet. i can't WAIT to paint! and I still don't know how i feel about
the bookcase arrangements...help!?!? any ideas?

My newly spray painted lamps!! the bookcase and couch
was given to us by another new friend...man, we are blessed with
furniture that has a story

Will's all-grown-up-big boy-bedroom.

Em's big girl all by herself not sharing with her brother bedroom.

As I complete new spaces and paint jobs, i'll post photos.

Life lessons from a Month spent in a new place...

2010-10-12T06:31:00.000-07:00

Here is the basics of our life post Biola/post summer condo life:
1) Sunland is HOT! (but it's hot everywhere, so that's comforting!)

2) We are really loving our new home. We have more to clutter and then clean, BUT, i'm amazed at how this rental has become a haven and home so quickly, since we've only been here since August 30th.

3) Paying for rent and utilities is crazy. I tend to live conservatively, but now-i'm turning into my father in-law (whom i LOVE), "turn that light out!" and waiting till we are almost puddled on the ground in sweat before I give into the A/C.

4) Our new church family is lovely. I appreciate them so much. I do NOT feel overwhelmed by them, or perhaps any expectations they may have on me because i'm a pastor's wife. Unless I am oblivious to it, they have really given me space to get settled. I'm so grateful.

5) Settling-Ah...you yourself should settle into your seat-this lesson is still in process, thus the novel...

I am getting used to life w/o constant noise, knocks on our door...jetting to here and there...and let me tell you-it's hard. I have Mondays, Tuesdays and Fridays off this semester when I usually just had one day off...and both kids are in school now, so I just have to constantly tell myself that it's okay if I don't do a chore today and just read in the stillness of my home while they are in school, or wander Ikea (there is one in Burbank that is about 10m from me...ah....i LOVE that! yet, quite dangerous!) or like yesterday, watch a movie and organize all my fabrics to see what to sew for Christmas. I am begining to feel more settled into our new life here. Last week was the first week of that for me. I keep saying "I" because I think Ry and the kids settled faster that I did. It is not as if I don't really like our new church, or our new home that seriously was a diamond to find in all the rough we saw is amazing......I drive into La Mirada for two days of work still and the first month of this was torture. I just wanted to stay. I didn't want to go back to Sunland. La Mirada has basically been our home since Ry was an undergrad in 1992. 1992-2010...that is a whole developmental stage from birth to college! We are just close enough to go back, yet far enough to not be an easy drive to visit...and leaving each Thursday to go home was a hard thing. I found my car auto-piloting towards the condo we had this summer. Oh-that condo was amazing! I actually miss the knocks and having someone suprise visit and need food, or just a cup of tea to talk...I miss that. People don't knock and come over here unannounced...how do you adjust to that after 9 years of spontaneous visits?...and I don't know how to not do that here...it's been hard to not, on my morning walks, go and just knock on a couple doors I know and say hey. I miss living in our community and pray that we can build something simular to what we had in LM here. (too bad we no longer have any free chicken, i'd have a BBQ one Sunday!)

However, I think it was okay to be in the place of sadness. What would anyone else expect? I had to keep telling myself that it was okay to be sad, it's only been a couple weeks...it's only been a month. I had to allow myself to grieve. I still am, but again-it was a significant time of living and building a home in one place to then just uproot (twice in one summer mind you) and begin anew. It has taught me so much. I have a LOT of space for people who are in transition and in a place of unknowing in their life.

Anyway...That is where I am at. I am actually feeling quite settled...and am thankful for our new place...I'll keep you posted on how we continue to connect to our new home.

Stuff

2010-09-10T10:33:00.001-07:00

WOW! Has a LOT happened since our last post or what?!?! I swear photos will come soon...here is a quick update, a more thoughtful one to come soon as well...
1) we are officially moved. we now live in Sunland in a cute 3 bedroom house.
2) with that said...our kids officially separated into their own rooms. they were stoked...ry and i actually had a harder time with it than they did!! they have never been apart since birth (no, they are not twins...just really close together-15m apart!) so i'm happy that they have their own space to just be.
3) kids have a great school their going to start on monday (hurray!)
4) we finally got health care all squared away and will be officially covered by monday (i hope!)
5) we were gifted a new couch, washer and dryer, king mattress and other great things to add to our new home. i can't wait to show you before and after photos.
6) well...after photos will come later than sooner...there are still quite a few boxes to get unpacked
7) how did all of our stuff fit into a small dorm apartment for 9years?!?! we now fully occupy a 1550 sq ft home!!!

which then leads me to want to purge again. have you ever seen that show hoarders? i can't ever get through a whole episode! it's painful. and i don't want to become that. so often i hold onto things because i think we'll need that eventually and we won't be able to afford it when we'll need it, so keep it!! well...with our last two moves, we unloaded a LOT of old furniture and other things that i had to come to let go. how did i get to that point? well...many of those pieces were given to us in the first place (ie-this beautiful old piano that was given to us that i took lessons on as a child that i ended up giving to my friend who really needed a new piano) and parting with these pieces became a spiritual discipline. did i really trust that the lord had us in his hands and was going to provide for us? if i did, let go of the stuff and watch him provide. if we have a need, he'll provide it. he always has. what makes me think he won't this time? so...i let go of the piano, this amazing secretary hutch that needed a LOT of TLC that we just didn't have resources to fix, another antique piece and a few more items....only to then gain some items that we needed. i'm not going to sit here and say that i don't miss those other items (well...perhaps not the piano!), BUT...it was time to let them go and see what we actually could live with and not hold onto that piece.

so...now...how can i repurpose what we have to make it fresh and new? one word-paint! the kids start school next week and in this season/semester, i have mondays, tuesdays and fridays off...guess who is going to be sanding and painting her furniture?!?! i'll show before and after shots for sure. i feel super inspired by some blogs, dear genevieve and magazines lately...i can't wait to get started. for now...hopefully this weekend we can get the rest of the stuff unpacked and settled into where it will be.

i'll post photos soon. thanks for all your prayers and support. our life certainly is an adventure

What a journey!

2010-08-19T11:54:00.000-07:00

So, for many of you this may be redundant, but for most, it's new news...

Ryan got a call on Sunday from Pastor Duke that Sunland Neigborhood Church has asked Ryan to be their Associate Pastor of Development and Outreach!! Our hearts were there for quite some time, but it's so sweet to finally have the final official call from them.

Now...let the rush begin!! We need to pack, move and start Ryan at his job by Sept. 1st! Thankfully, the church is paying for our move, so you dear ones who have helped us in the past won't need too!! We found a house within a bikes ride distance from the church and we put in all our paper work today for it. We'll see if we got it. I hope we do!

This might be new news considering there was talk of us living in the parsonage. It just isn't big enough for our family. There are a variety of other reason, but I think we would also just thrive more being in the community, having neighbors for the kids to play with, and not living where we work any more is a big one too. So now we pack and wait to hear about the house and once we find out, we're moving.

I start Talbot teaching again next week (i'm commuting in wednesdays and thursdays) and then the kids start school on the 13th (that is our next project! finding them a school!) so...please be praying for the house that we are able to rent it, that the kids transition well, and for this huge new chapter in our life. We've never lived a hour away from home, so this will be new for us all. Thank you friends for all of your prayers, notes, calls, emails and support! we couldn't do this without you!

love!!

quick update

2010-08-02T13:26:00.001-07:00

so...we heard back from Sunland and we are a GO for August 8th!! yeah !

We (as a family) go out, meet the congregation, introduce ourselves....then they pray for a week, ask questions, etc...and then they vote on us on the 15th and we find out then : )

Keep praying
xxo
aly

30 rock...

2010-07-18T08:19:00.001-07:00

So this morning i woke up with Tracy Jordan in my head. But...it's pretty appropriate...

"This is not a drill people!"

Now, this quote is in reference to season 2 or was it 3....episode of "Post-nup" and it was when Tracy and his wife were about to...well...you know ; ) That is not how i'm using this quote....

Seriously...as I woke up, today is the 18th....Ry preaches and then we drop the kiddos off and go out to the bbq to meet the team leaders at Sunland and hopefully connect well with them to move onto the next stage of their interview/candidating process on August 8th. And the words of Tracy Jordan woke me up..."This is not a drill people!"

It's not. Its the 18th .... sigh...phew...if you think about it, pray for us today...the bbq is at 4.

I'll write and keep you posted this week and post some long awaited photos of our summer thus far.

First angel game!

2010-07-06T15:25:00.001-07:00

We recently (last week) took the kids with our church to their first Angel Game. As Ry predicted, William said at the end of the 4th, "When can we go home?!" However, they totally did better than I thought they would. They sat, played with their friends, learned the art of eating sunflower seeds and peanuts in the shell, and crashed when we got home.
We had a blast...such a fun summer event! How is your summer? What are you doing? We are trying to plan an excursion of some sort each week...this was our first of the summer

Our self portrait

My boy

Is this love or hate? I can't remember when I captured the photo at the tailgate party...

Tailgating it under the Big A

Condo photos

2010-07-06T15:13:00.001-07:00

Cute little reading nook under the stairs...Em's little school spot too...she loves reading under there and doing 'school' (since we're on summer break)

View from the loft to the downstairs

The living room

The kids room-or just Em's bunk with her new bedding (thanks katrina!!)

Our bedroom

Okay....long awaited condo photos!!
I've chosen not to hang photos b/c of knowing that this condo really is temporary-we might be here for only 2 more months, or a lot longer, once we hear from Sunland more specifically and have our next interview on the 18th, we'll have a better picture of how much longer we'll be here. In the meantime, I can't tell you how much of a retreat and blessing this condo has been. I barely ever need to turn on the lights because of all the natural lighting. I think we've ran the a/c a total of 2hrs since moving here (and that was basically on moving day!) because when you open up all the windows, the breeze makes you feel like you're at the beach. i LOVE LOVE LOVE this place. I think it will be harder to leave our condo than it was to leave Biola! this place is a gift that I can't thank my in laws enough for. I pray that the Lord will bring us another retreat like this place has been for our next home...and perhaps we can be there long enough for me to hang stuff!!

Summer Fav....

2010-07-06T10:36:00.000-07:00

So...this summer as we've been at the new condo (i know...photos coming soon), my good friend Charity has taught me how to make a mean mojito! I made them for my friend's birthday party this past weekend and they were a hit. Here is the recipe. I also made them in old peanut butter jars that I thought would be just too fun to drink out of (and a free way to replace some of our old glasses that have broken...i LOVE drinking out of the jars-see above!!)

The Chartender (i named it after my friend, charity!) Mojito:
Shopping List:
Bacardi Rum Limon (clear rum, not the brown colored rum)
A fresh bunch of mint, not the kind that has the soil still on the stems (you can get some at albertsons I know like that)
Ice
Lime seltzer water
Sugar
Limes (about a 1/2 a lime per drink)

Directions:
10 leaves of mint and two mint stems broken at the bottom of your jar/glass
1 T and 1t of sugar
4 small lime slices slightly squeezed into the jar then dropped to the bottom of jar

Take your muddler and mash, mash, twist, twist and smoosh your limes, mint leaves and sugar all up. The goal is to have the mint leaves all broken up, the limes totally pulped and juice mixing up with the sugar.

Next pour 2 1/2 oz of Bacardi Limon Rum into jar of mashed up mint/sugar/lime mix
6 ice cubes, or whatever makes the jar fill 1/2 up with ice
invert jar into a cocktail shaker, with the jar acting as your lid/cover
Shake vigorously over the sink and make sure you hold onto the shaker and glass jar at the same time so the jar doesn't go flying off into your kitchen : ) Shake about 20 times to make sure the ice has cooled the lime/sugar/mint/rum mixture
Remove glass jar and pour the contents of the cocktail shaker into the jar
Take the lime seltzer water and pour about 1/2 glass jar worth around the interior of the cocktail shaker to get all that final mojito mixture out of the shaker and pour into the glass jar to the rim of the jar.

Squeeze a final lime on top of mojito, stir, add straw and ENJOY!!

Lemme know if you like them!! Next, it's my goal to figure out how to make the Hollywood Bowl's sangria. It's about $28 at the bowl and i'm SURE it's way cheaper at home and just as delish! I'll post the final recipe once I figure it out : )

Moved

2010-06-29T14:50:00.000-07:00

I've moved my 'no shopping experiment' to just being here at our adventures. I've wanted to move it for a while, but have been busy. I took the time tonight to copy all my old blogs about it, and will be in the process of moving them here. Bear with me as some older posts about no shopping that you may have read will be here and repeated. Still not shopping (except for a few very needed items) till my birthday in August. I don't even know what that will be like! Anyway...enjoy.

My Story:

So, here is a bit of the background of my story which will hopefully illuminate the reason why i am choosing to abstain from shopping for a semester (or maybe a year-going to re-evaluate this in the wintertime)

4 years into marriage and $12,000 of credit debt, I looked into going back to school. I didn't know how this was going to happen as I looked over credit statements showing us where we were at. However, there was no 'We" in this. I paid the bills, I was the one who told Ryan where we were at with the money-and I didn't tell him where we were at financially. As long as everything was paid and he had money in his pocket, he didn't ask or need to wonder where we were at. He began the wonder how we were able to afford some of the things we were doing, but never brought it up. This was ths Spirit beginning to prompt him to ask..,

One evening I went to my in-laws house to talk to them about school and if they would be willing to help out with the costs of it. It was at that time they shared with me of an inheritance they were going to be giving us from Ed's mother who has recently passed. This amount would mostly pay for school and pay off our debt. I cried. I cried for three reasons. One, that the Lord knew-he knew the exact number we needed and he saved us in ways we would never have been able to save ourselves. Two-humbled to my core that he would save us in the midst of my utter sin. And three-i had to tell ryan financially where we were at.

Well...a slap on the hand, two degrees, two children and 5 years later, we find ourselves in the same predicament again. How did this happen again!!? We were in the clear! I know why...I hid. I hid from the man I commited my life to an addiction I had that I kept saying I had under control. Shopping. There is a caviat-i'm not the only one-my husband loves to buy things and go out to eat etc..etc...but i never said no, we can't afford this or that. Consumption really is the word of my addiction. But, am I alone? I have to admit, it feels pretty lonely here...I know I am not though...

This is why I am choosing to blog about it. Well...several reasons. I type faster than I write, but of paramount cause-because I don't want to hide anymore. If I continue to choose the path that I have chosen to live, loss will be my future. Satan will do anything to continue his directive in me to hide-and I can't let that happen anymore. Where there is light, there is no darkness. I want to be known. I have NO clue who will find this blog and read it, but my prayer is that it reasonates with some in a some small degree, and that as I process and journey my way through my self-prescribed rehab, that we can all minister to one another.

Who doesn't have an addiction of some sort? What does it look like to walk each day thinking outside the box of consumption and to see how truly each one of my needs has been met and I need for not that much.

thank you for indulging me as I wonder into this world of light and Love. welcome to my blog. welcome to my journey.

quiet

2010-06-28T22:35:00.001-07:00

Quiet:

I've been pretty quiet from here for a while. You know when you have not talked to a friend in quite a while and then you begin to realize that the more distance between conversations, you'll need further explanation into why the distance became wider and wider. That is how I feel about dialouging about this. It is not as thought I want to avoid talking about what is going on inside in this process of not shopping, but I have to be honest, it does get a bit tiring. Have you ever wanted something to just be done? It's not that I am desperate to shop, that i want my rehab to be done...in fact...this week for the first time I bought a cardigan. I wanted to go into a store (KMart...I know...not glamous, but not a tempting place for me. I thought I'd check out a cardigan while I picked up medicine for our daughter) and see about a cardigan. I had my allowance...I found the exact color cardigan i'd been looking for (blue) and it is a cute boyfriend kind of cardi...got it ($12!) and came home. the interesting thing is, i felt the need to hide my purchase. I didn't want to tell Ryan because am I suppose to shop yet? The rehab isn't over till 8/29/10...
So...it was a weird conversation to have with Ryan about my cardigan. He was fine with it...I think i wasn't. like I was committing adultry to my rehab committment. Part of it is re-emursing myself it shopping in a healthy way...how do you do that? is there really a right way?
another reason of being quiet...there has been a lot of other things going on by way of vocational distractions that have kept me occupied rather than thinking about shopping...and i've found myself not really thinking about shopping or filling the void, space or bordem or avoidance of things with shopping. you may ask, "what then are you filing it with?" well...I just honestly have't had the time to think about shopping. I even have some gift cards that I could spend (was given permission to spend them, but may hold onto them till my birthday) and just haven't wanted to. i have filled the void with busyness. I have a load of clients / directees this semester, teaching two classes (or rather facilitating groups within those classes) and trying to figure out my husband's potential job (he's been interviewing at several places). but i think mostly the quiet has been wondering if i really had anything to share, to say...there are some familiar voices that have been visiting in my mind (you wouldn't need x amount of dollars from any job he's hunting for if you didn't have this debt...) blah blah blah...i just keep telling those voices, 'blah blah blah' so what else do you have to say?!?! don't you just get tired of those voices? relentless, just beginning to become quiet as well...
so many challenges still...but still plugging away at the rehab...

It has been a while since I have visited this blog. I think so much was going on that I just couldn't write it. It felt too overwhelming...Even now it feels overwhelming, but cathartic as well. I have wanted to write, but just didn't have it in me.
The road of dying to your self and watching Christ redeem is a hard road. Transformation is hard. Hard is not even a strong enough word. There are days of victory, and days of utter defeat.
I haven't shopped since my birthday...haven't even wanted to even venture into a store actually. I've even sort of stopped reading all the blogs I was reading on how to repurspose clothing because it was bringing up that feeling of I have to make this, I have to do this, I have to show that I am creative, productive and NOT what I am feeling right now. So, I stopped.
The defeat I have been feeling is just knowing and sitting in my sin and there is nothing i can do about it...yet here is the victory and one who can do something about it...he can redeem. he is and has
here is where we've been with the Lord the last two days....
Me:
2 Cor 3:12-18
12Therefore, since we have such a hope, we are very bold. 13We
are not like Moses, who would put a veil over his face to keep the
Israelites from gazing at it while the radiance was fading away. 14But
their minds were made dull, for to this day the same veil remains when
the old covenant is read. It has not been removed, because only in
Christ is it taken away. 15Even to this day when Moses is read, a veil covers their hearts. 16But whenever anyone turns to the Lord, the veil is taken away. 17Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom. 18And we, who with unveiled faces all reflect[a]
the Lord's glory, are being transformed into his likeness with
ever-increasing glory, which comes from the Lord, who is the Spirit.
Hello....17-18....especially 18....And we, who with unveild faces all reflect the Lord's glory....stop here...
I reflect His glory? BECAUSE OF CHRIST!! The veil has been lifted. Whenever I turn to the Lord, the veil is taken away. He paid the price for my sin. I can't fix myself, I can't fix our finances (I can be from this point on someone who submits, surrenders and obeys his call of stewardship...I can turn from my ways and into his redpemtive power that illuminates the path towards wisdom, grace and truth)...but he is transforming me/us. He is showing us radically not how we spend, but the why...and through this surrender of control-that every purchase doesn't only cost money, but there is another cost to it as well, isn't there? That cost is the deeper journey....Do I need this? Does this fill me or does Christ? I can have nice things, but is it within our budget...can I spend money within the budget instead of seeing that we have a little extra, so we can go out, or just live paycheck to paycheck...that is not freedom! That doesn't free me up to be able to do ministry. Debt looms....but it is SOOO teaching me so much more than just to irradicate it. Christ wants all of me....every nook and crannie....every part of my inner most being to be transformed into his likeness with ever increasing glory....this transformation can only happen IN CHRIST. not in anthropologie or jcrew...i can put on a new self for you all to see...but will you see Christ in me? Isn't that our ultimate goal? Even if i put on a new purse or shoe or pant....did I do it within my means? there is a fear there that I won't be able to. What if the debt was gone...what if there was a freedom, would i run to target or run to christ? if i run to target would i spend what i am given and stay within my means, or goarge myself and binge on purchases?
and this is where Ryan was too...he could get another job...I could try to get more clients...teach more classes...but is this being responsible or is this trusting? Ryan had a second job, and through the 5 years of that second job we racked up all this debt, even when we had all that extra money, we just spent and spent and spent. God took the job and gave it to another. I have NO regrets or resentment towards that at all. We were not suppose to be in that job any longer. So...are we to get a second job? If he provided another to replace us in that job...are we to not get another one? are we suppose to surrender and trust for him to provide? ry has a job interview next week...LORD-please reveal to us in this next week wisdom as to what to do....there has been so much excavation and meetings and ideas and processing...dark hours and dreams and tears and embraces....what are we to do? which road to take, Lord? Only you can save us. You have....
I'm listening to Pandora right now (brooke fraiser radio...ah...i LOVE her! i can sing i her range!) and this song came up...I can't sing this song in church without tears....
1,000 times i have failed, still your mercy remains
should I stumble again, i'm caught in your grace
everlasting your light will shine when all else fails, never ending your glory goes beyond all fame
your will above all else still my purpose remains
the art of loosing myself, in bringing you praise
my heart and my soul, i give you control, consume me from the inside out, Lord
let justice and grace become my embrace
to love you from the inside out....
amen....may you be continuing the transformation even thought it's hard, painful, amazing, wonderful. may you continue to reveal your ever increasing glory in us....amen....

Catch up

2010-06-28T22:33:00.002-07:00

Wow...it's been quite a while since I wrote....
So...if anyone IS actually reading this, I wonder if you have thoughts of what it has been like to be me in the midst of the most consumeristic season of the American year. Here is what it has been like (I should have written as each moment came...but...it was also a season of getting grades in...)
In an effort to not spend too much, we opened a separate checking account (which gifted us with $150 dollars just for joining!! extra Christmas money!) with money that was gifted to us through doing some pre-martial counseling. With that money, Ryan and I sat down one night and decided what we would spend on each member of our family that we were to exchange gifts with and those who also needed gifts due to work exchanges. With some sewing that I did (aLOT of sewing...), blowing up photos and making $10 calendars (thankYOU costco!) and re-purposing frames for gifts...etc...etc...we were able to give each person (20 folks total, including Ryan and I) a gift. It was a blessing. We also were able to give 10% of that money towards two chickens and two soccer balls via worldvision.com as a gift to Jesus. We wanted to do something with the kids in order to help them to better understand this season...i hope to make this a tradition...
how do you talk to your kids about the gifts they didn't get?
all day on christmas day our son was moping all about. he is a stubborn little man and i figured it was because he wanted to go home and play on his new drum set/kit (someone GAVE us an AWESOME drum kit because they knew he loved rock and roll music!!!). no. that wasn't it. he was upset that he didn't get a star wars laptop. this laptop that was at costco that he held in his hand for like 30 seconds...that gift is the gift that was stuck in his mind that he didn't receive....that was the cause of his moping about. once i stepped out a bit from my frustration with his attitude, i couldn't help but relate to the little guy. no matter how much i have received, or wanted...there was still a ting of wanting more...all the things that i got that didn't fill me whole. i sat in the car and talked to him a little bit about how the gifts he had received were from the heart and not to make him mad...asking him how he'd feel if we didn't like the gifts we received from him and actually told him so...and just talking and listening to him a bit more about how he liked the laptop and that indeed there are times in life we don't always get what we want...but how can we let those who love us and who thought a lot about what they purchased for you, how we can with a thankful heart give them a gift by saying thank you. man...how would you have handled that?
again, i do go back to how i relate to him. that day, i got an amazing gift. a nikon 3000 dslr. the only thing i kept thinking was, "does it do hd video?" it doesn't. i was discontent. could i be more selfish? i talked to the Lord about it. why was it that i got this amazing gift that i had wanted for soooo long...and still wished for more? can i be content? i was fine the day before when i didn't have a dslr. it is a pretty amazing camera. i was thinking out of convenience sake that having everything in one camera versus having a dslr, a video camera and a point and shoot...what if they were just all in one...my rationale was rather rational. however, still...this train of thinking still left me wanting more...
how can be content in this world when everything changes and the next and best thing will always be out there...
lord, i need you.

Pacing

2010-06-28T22:33:00.001-07:00

This past week, and 24hrs have been pretty hard. I think it's not hard for me to admit it's hard, it's the actualy writing of it and submitting to the fact that it was indeed hard. giving myself permission to call it hard and not to try to sugar coat it and make it something it isn't. The beautiful thing about this past week was that I celebrated 35 years of life. about 20 of those I have known my husband and about 14 years of that i have loved him. He took me on a suprise date and we ate and danced and I felt so pursued. Ryan, if you are reading this, thank you-even when it's hard sometimes to love me, you do.
What was hard was Monday night and balancing our checkbook. Ryan is not working two jobs anymore and I don't get paid from my adjunt job till tomorrow which leaves us with all the bills paid, but very little left over. I just sat there, looking at the budget on my laptop thinking about what we were going to do. We have grocery money...we have gas money...the bills are paid...for that i am thankful and truly see that the lord is providing for us...we don't have creditors calling our home 24/7...but it was hard to sit down with ryan and to tell him the reality of really where we were at for the next couple weeks. Normally, i'd just bottle it all up, give him his allowance because if he had his allowance, he'd not ask about how we were doing with our budget. but, instead of absorbing all of the anxiety, i told him where we were at. we both sat there on the couch. quiet. he said, "well...okay." he talked a bit more about being thankful that we had what we needed and that we live on campus where we have meals in the cafe that are free in case we need to eat there, and we have family nearby that we use their laundry...but i just sat there as he left feeling so low. pacing in my mind through all of the failures...'we wouldn't be here if it wasnt for you...we would be in such a different place if after 8 years of living here...10 years of living with NO RENT we would be somewhere sooo different. what the f*&^ have you been doing all these years! you are worse off now than you were back then...' so on and so on...
i just was numb. i couldn't speak. even today as i type and consider that good friends really want to have dinner with us on saturday night to celebrate birthdays, and that i'm gone most of the weekend with a dear friend up at camp to help her out and retreat a bit...what are you up to, lord??? we can't afford to go out to dinner! i can't even buy coffee up at camp!!! sigh...
...and also...we have a meeting tonight with a missions organization that we LOVE and sooo believe in what they are doing to see if we would be a good fit with them... but are we waisting his time and money tonight? who are we to be missionaries when we have this debt that needs to be paid?
so, as always, i retreat to the shower. standing under the warmth of the water is soooo theraputic for me.
and i heard, "your debt doesn't define you, i define who you are."
i said back, "well...being a missionary could possibly one of the most amazing and yet scary things in life for me-to depend on someone else to provide for our family..."
then i stopped...in all my efforts to provide for myself, to fix our finances, to hide this all from ryan in an effort to fix it...where the hell did this get me? um...deeper in debt, deeper into lies, deeper into seeing that i am not in control of my life and if i try, i fail. the lord has provided for us. not me. not us. so how do we learn to use what we have and be good stewards of it? what is at the root of our spending habits? what are we trying to fill in an effort to avoid the cross or avoid our issues or avoid anything for that matter?
so, what are we to say to sam when we with him this evening???... i am still left pacing in my mind considering what the lord has for us...i wish selfishly that some check would just appear and make this all go away. but, that happened once for us and now we are back where we were, if not worse. if we cashed in all our assests, everything and paid off everything...would we still go and spend money without consideration? this is the question. it didn't solve anything before. will it now? no. we are learning moment by moment what it is to consider every purchase. is this the best price? is this the healthiest solution? do we have something around the house that can work just as good as if we went to purchase it new? this is a whole new language for me. a WHOLE new language.
i am learning to pause...i am learning to stop pacing in my mind and not allow myself to sucum to the voices in my head. i told ryan where we were at. that is a victory. he responded and we talked through it. he didn't storm off. he never has. i don't know where i got it in my head that he would ever do that...oh yeah-um...people in my life have done that and i just assumed he would too. i never gave him the benefit of the doubt.
yesterday was my daugther's good friend's birthday. it was butterfly themed. i would have gone out and bought her $20 worth of stuff...but i made her a hair clip that emily chose the fabric for...emily wanted to wear butterflies,so i sewed on butterflies onto her shirt with the left over fabric from her friend's clip...and i dug around and found watercolors and a journal of blank pages for her friend to paint in. Lord-you are so good! i didn't have to pay a dime for her gift! i even re-used wrapping!!
out of all of this processing (thanks for bearing with my processing!) is this:
each day is a new day. he makes all things new each day. that is including me. i bear his image. i don't bear a huge red "D" on my shirt telling the world i'm a debtor. however, aren't we all? aren't we all in debt to the one who saved our life from the dominion of darkness? i could never repay what he has done for me. how can i think that i can repay what i've gotten myself into here on earth without him? lord, help me to continue to see that you forgive our transgressions and deliver us from evil and that this is not my kingdom to control, but your kingdom. may your kingdom come and your will be done, not mine.

The Good

2010-06-28T22:32:00.002-07:00

in light of facing our debt...here is the good that i have seen from it that i wanted to post in sort of thanksgiving theme fashion. i know we all have so much to be thankful for, but i just feel like this year, especially, i am so thankful.
i'm thankful for the roof over our head, the food on our table, the warmth of our home and that we have clothes, food, shelter, warm shower, warm bed and a loving community that is holding us, caring for us and just amazing
i'm thankful for our cars. they are old. but they run and are paid for in full.
i'm thankful for the fact that our budget pays for all our bills, puts some in savings, and even in the face of all that we are facing, somehow, the Lord is coordinating all our money in such a way that i'm shocked we can actually afford to buy some presents for christmas.
i'm thankful my in laws bought me a sewing machine that i can sew gifts and dresses for christmas this year
i'm thankful that this time of facing our marriage and uncovering things that were hidden is refining, purifiying and all around hard. now, that sounds weird to be thankful for this, but i don't ever want to live in fear anymore-fear of being found out-fear of hiding...i'm so thankful for ryan and his gentle gracious pursuit of my heart and his calm patient presence as i gave him my uncovered heart. you'd think after 11 years of marriage that i'd know this about my husband...but so many years of hurt and brokeness told me that trusting others was too risky. it told me that i could just keep the secrets locked away in my heart and i woudln't have to share them with anyone...but the voices of those secrets became too much to bear...and ryan received my whole life...my whole heart this year. i am so thankful for this man who loves me in all my beauty and all my mess.
i'm so thankful for grace. what would we do without our saviors grace?
i'm so thankful that i have made it since august 29th without shopping. i did buy one bag of hair stuff at savers for $3 but they are old headbands to recover for my nieces and daughter for christmas presents so they'll have matching hair stuff to go with their skirts and dresses. but..i've done it! even the fabric i have people have given to me...i need more elastic, but my process is to tell ryan what i'm doing, where i'm going and what i'm getting. this is the next phase of this journey-how to shop with the money i have and how to shop with ryan knowing about it.

Gifts

2010-06-28T22:32:00.001-07:00

i have a dear friend who needs a job. somehow we were able to scrape a bit together to give her some money to help her make her rent and bills. i just feel for her. this is what we are called to do. be the body. be the church. if someone is in need of clothes, give them clothes...if they need food, give food. if they need money...get the point? in acts chapter 2 is says:
42They devoted themselves to the apostles' teaching and to the fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer. 43Everyone was filled with awe, and many wonders and miraculous signs were done by the apostles. 44All the believers were together and had everything in common. 45Selling their possessions and goods, they gave to anyone as he had need....
this is what we are suppose to do...i just wish i could give more...
then the lord gave back to us...
i am usually the one that is so willing to support, serve, bake, give whatever is needed to help others. it doesn't really occur to me that i should also be the recipient of someone elses gifts. that is a discipline. it's a discpline to give just as much as it is a discpline to receive...i'm learning this!
case in point...we have dear friends who committed to giving us some money each month for three months in a effort to help us save for the months that i don't get paid to teach (as an adjunct, i only get paid when i teach, not throughout the year...and i don't get benefits either...at least we do with ry's job!). so january and feb were going to be rough. so rough we thought that ry would have to get a second job. our friend's generousity, although pretty hard to receive since i know they need the month too, is amazing. i'd give them money in a heartbeat...and they did for us.
yesterday my father in law just handed me money and said he knew we needed some help. again, didn't ask. what does god see ahead of us that he knows we'll need this? off to savings it goes. in times past, we'd go out to eat with it, party it up with that extra cash...and i'm so stoked to say it's going in savings!! ah....lord, thank you for those little gifts here and there. how does that happen??!! it's the prompting of your spirit in others...seriously...lord,....i'm humbled....thank you. please bless the families who are coming along side us and helping us in this time...bless them...provide clarity for their lives as they begin to transition and bring my dear sister a job that will give her vacation pay and benefits. amen.
how have you seen the lord provide for you? it may not be as blatent as money handed to you...it could be in so many other ways...please share!

I Did It

2010-06-28T22:31:00.000-07:00

I did it:

so...today i celebrated with friends at a bridal shower. i had to go get a gift. i had $20 to spend. how can i make a meaningful gift for my friend count with $20? THIS is a challenge for me because i LOVE to get gifts for my friends. i love thinking about them...considering their loves and creatively searching for a gift that represents them well and shows more care than just a gift card (although, sometimes, those are just as amazing!)
so, i walked into a mall folks. a mall! a pretty great one down in south orange county. (if you have ever watched the real housewives of OC, it's one of the malls near them...just an indicator of the materialism i was to experience). it was a bit of overload. i gripped my strong black coffee....i opened the door....walked around a bit...got my bearings, took a deep breath....walked into crate and barrell....and got four little glass bowls and a pair of cute undies and wrapped them in a darling harvest-y dish towel instead of using paper wrapping...and it came to $22!!! (i just gave 2 bucks of my allowance towards to cause!) ah....i did it. i stayed within budget. well...2 bucks over...but i had the two dollars left in my allowance that i didn't spend at breakfast with my friend!!!
i walked around a bit more. i saw a jcrew. jcrew is like crack to me (reference previous posts!). i walked in. and i looked at things in the perspective of "could i sew this? could i embelish this on a current tshirt?" it was sooo great!! they also had a crewcuts section (their kids clothing line) and totally was in love with their girls stuff and thought, "hey...i can maybe make this!".....amazing. i felt no shame. i felt overwhelmed, but it felt good to look at what was out there and to get inspired.
there was a shirt at forever 21 for $11 that was DaRRRRling....sigh....i walked away. even though it was only $11 and would be SOOOO cute with slacks for teaching or under my vintage-y anthro blazer that my dad in law got me....i walked away.
one small step towards acclimation....one giant leap for me!!
it was a good day. (abs, thanks for the prayers dear friend!)
oh...and i was amongst great friends too....

Test Run

2010-06-28T22:30:00.002-07:00

Test Run:

tonight i went shopping. i know....against the 'no shopping experiment' i've committed myself to. but i didn't buy anything. here is what went on...
i went with a friend to ikea, another place that is such a temptation. i didn't go to throw myself into temptation. i went so our kids could all play together and to have an hour to just wander with my friend. by the way, did you know you could drop off your potty trained child at ikea in their safe guarded childcare area for an hour of free play?? free?? well... i dare say it is not free. their intention is briliant! keep your kids in here for an our and shop undistracted, spend money...not free. there is more temptation when they are not distracting you to purchase things. i found myself just really not caring to be there and wanting to just sit and read. maybe next time i'll just go drop them off, grab a coffee and roll and sit and read. or just do that while their in school where i can bring my own coffee from home and read w/o spending the money on gas and being their tempted to shop! ah..always trying to thinking outside the box on this life of mine!
i think what struck me the most is that i didn't linger to see what i wanted or could have. i actually needed a new lampshade. it was only $10. but do i really need it? i asked myself this. the lamp has been in a cupboard for over a year not being used. we have plently of light in our home. it might be nice to have another, but that $10 that i didn't spend actually then paid for our dinner and dessert for all three of us.
it wasn't so hard to be there...i also had a great dear dear friend with me who also knows my journey rather intimately and having her near was secure indeed and a gift.
so, i think this marks a month one of my experiment...of rehab. it's not been hard yet, but i pray against all that is around me that i will not be tempted but be delivered from evil. oh, the lord's prayer has been a close companion these days. i pray you find comfort in it as well.
also-thank you to those who have left comments. they are such an encouragement to me. please feel free to leave comments, ask questions...i know that i am not alone...and i don't want you to feel alone either.

Rollercoaster

2010-06-28T22:30:00.001-07:00

Rollercoaster:

what a rollercoaster life can be, and how suseptable i am to the road it takes me on.
late monday i received an email that one of the classes i teach was cancelled due to low enrollement. i was devestated. i wept. not for the loss of the class, but for the loss of security it provided. how were we going to make it? then, the all too familiar voices began to revisit my mind in such a flurry i could barely recall what was truth.
you are to blame for this
if it wasn't for you, your budget would allow for this kind of adjustment, now you are screwed and you screwed your family again in the process
then...all of the things that we need to have worked on came flooding to my mind
ry threw is back out, if you were not in the situation, he could go get his back worked on
you need a new transmission
the battery in your car just died, now you need a new battery...
relentless...like the dips and turns of a rollercoaster you can't get off of...as your face cuts through the wind while you barrel down the dips and turns, it is inescapable...
however, the Lord reminded me how inescapable He is and how His plans are just around the corner. almost like the brakes of the roller coaster began to work and slowly did their job to end the ride...
instead of turning towards my addiction which would be me going to target and walking around, or surfing online for a deal (target, anthropologie and jcrew are basically crack to me-they are my bermuda triangle!), I did two things. One-I talked to Ryan. this would seem like the first response, right? NO! in the length of our marriage, if ever there was a crisis in our finances, i would just go inward, listen to the voices above, then try to fix it on my own. which, never works. i would bear the responsibility of what was going on becuase i felt so much shame and guilt over hiding where we really were at. i was so fearful that he'd leave if i told him the real truth. well...i now know that he won't leave. (more on that whole story another day). it felt so good to talk to ryan about it. next, i took a long hot shower and prayed as i washed away what i felt like. i wept in the shower, yelled (the kids were napping thankfully! swim lessons have been making them really tired!) out all of my interior thoughts just trying to navigate my way through them to find truth again. i felt like the shower was pelting me at first, just a metaphor of all the lies i felt like were raining on my body...then it turned...i began to feel as though the shower was indeed doing it's job-it was washing them away...i looked on the floor of the tub and watched the water move it's way towards the drain and disappear...i felt a release, like the water was the puddle of thoughts, emotions, explitives and lies i was wearing. maybe it was from the yelling which is quite cathartic coupled with the metaphor the Lord was showing me as i stood naked before Him yelling. I then only had just a slight whispher left in me, "Lord-I need you. I can't fix this. I need you." I went to dry off and just fell into bed and took a really great long nap. after the nap, i got an email asking me to teach another class. i was in awe. really, Lord? you heard me?
in that moment, and the moments following to finish this week's rollercoaster, i just sat back and watched the Lord provide for us in ways I can describe, but just cannot do them justice. Every night this week our dinners were provided for, which saved us money in our grocery budget. all the lunches we had were either made for us or we had them in our fridge...same with breakfast...with a little extra thought, i made a little extra coffee in my french press so i could take some on road with me instead of getting starbucks and my parents slipped me $80 to get a new battery and a car wash.
It brings the words of the Psalmist, David to mind to vividly, I wonder if he felt this way as he penned these words from his 139th Psalm,
...Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.
5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.
7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?
8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, [a] you are there.
9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,
10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.
Truly Lord, the thought of you and your care and intimate knowledge of me is too wonderful. Not in the sense of wonderful we think (oh how wonderful!) no, Lord-like WONDER...i'm in awe...it is too much for me to wonder upon. Even when I doubt and basically throw a temper tantrum in the shower, you are there and you take it. Even when I sit and gaze upon your creation, you are there. Thank you Lord that you hold me in fast...I am in awe...
what will happen this week, Lord??? let's strap back in that rollercoaster-i'm up for it

Uncomfortable

2010-06-28T22:29:00.002-07:00

Uncomfortable:

my birthday was this past saturday and my parents took me to breakfast (my FAVORITE!) and a movie. there was some time prior to the moving starting and we wandered around and walked into ann taylor loft. they got me a pair of pants and a skirt-totaling $10.81 (seriously amazing deal)
BUT...i was sooo uncomfortable being there. should i have let them buy me these things? should i have just sat at starbucks with the ice tea they got me (ahh..green tea ice tea sweetened...nothing like it!) and stayed put? i basically shopped!! that's illegal to this addict! it's like a porn addict going to a strip club or getting a playboy or something. what was i thinking? i felt guitly the whole time there.
but...a question a dear friend posed to me...is it shopping or staying within your means that is the issue? do i need to learn how to spend within my means? um...yes, yes i do. i want things. i want to get fabric to be creative and make clothes and pillows and things. i get an allowance...so how do i learn to stay within my means....
i still need to avoid clothing stores at the moment...but learning what i learned here was paramount. pausing myself and considering...not binging and purging...

Discovery

2010-06-28T22:29:00.001-07:00

Discovery:

for years on and off from 8th grade to about my 2nd year of college, i struggled with anorexia. i know this is pretty common for gals during that time of life...then in more recent stages of life i see myself going to food for comfort when i used to abstain from it as a form of punishment and control. i made a corelation to my struggle with shopping...
when i shop i binge...i shop hard, i spend lots, i come home and then feel guilt, bloated, full...terrible. i take things back, i try to hide my purchases, when i can't take things back, i try to sell them-i purge. get the sense here that there is simular habits? it was this ah-ha moment for me...i transfered one addiction with another. have i been addicted that long? have i binged and purged for that long?
i look around my home and see the clutter and just begin to feel so full and clostrophobic that i just want to sell everything, start fresh, pay off debt...but no matter how much we sell, it won't solve the problem-nor do we have that nice of posessions to liquidate for mass profit. then we'd be sitting on the ground. eating off of one plate. would i feel better then? do i need to be punished for lying, is that what i am looking for? when i was a child (and beyond) if i did something wrong, i'd be sent to my room and basically i'd be there till the pieces of my heart were put back together by myself. no one would come and double check on me. there was no conflict resolution, no apologies, no grace. is it any wonder i keep waiting for the bottom to drop and to be punished because of what i did?
there is so much more i am learning. i'm learning that Love is the change agent that is changing my heart. His love is totally unfamiliar because it's pure. No matter what I do, nothing can separate me from His love. No matter how much i cry, blame myself, try to sell things, He is just holding me telling me calmly that this is not my identity, this is not my name. that he isn't leaving me as i was left to fix myself growing up. He is changing me. I can't fix myself any longer...i don't want to starve, binge and purge anymore.
i am enough. what i am is enough. please lord help that to sink in...help my skin to not repel it like water to oil...help it to penetrate.

Green

2010-06-28T22:28:00.000-07:00

Green:

as i have been navigating through my no shopping experiment, it has caused be to think in an eco fashion. i'm am already one who really attempts to consider purchases in regards to our homegoods (food, cleaning materials, paper goods etc...). and i found myself today considering another sort of fork in the road decision as i am not suppose to be shopping.
my little girl begins kindergarten here in a couple weeks. my first gut reaction to this (other than sobs!) are, "oh, we need to get her...." fill in the dots. i found myself browsing sites for backpacks, lunchbags etc....then i began to think, "well, if we are going to do this, we should consider what materials they are made from and how they are being made" so i began to internet shop for eco school supplies. then i stopped myself. isn't what i am doing, my self prescribed no shopping sort of green? isn't the whole point to stop consuming and or consider what it is you are consuming and it's effects on you and the planet? so, i looked around the house and have a backpack and a lunchbag for her. perfectly still in tact and ready to use. maybe it's not bpa free or made from a sustainable and regenerating product (bamboo, hemp...) but at least i'm not spending money and have yet another backpack on our shelf! so...then...the whole idea of ziplocks and what i should do with that came to mind...
my point is...it never stops. the thoughts of consumption don't end. how can i make what i have around the house into something that can not be a ziplock-maybe i can make one of those wraps that contain fruits, veggies and sandwiches....i wish i had some oilcloth around the house, i'd sew up something!!
in all of these little bits of daily thoughts, they draw my attention to the cross. i wonder what His thoughts are on this whole journey? Lord-i do not want to do any part of this fast without you. i have done so much of my life with you, but compartmentalized this part of my life from you. now that there is no stone unturned, please dear Lord, please show me continually, how to consider all the layers that make up the addiction to consume and shop. thank you for slowing and stoping me from shopping and helping me to look around and to consider how to repurpose what is around me. i am so blessed to possess what we already have...give me a fresh perspective to use and re-use wisely not just to care for our planet, but most importantly, to care for our family. we have so much. thank you for the blessings you have given to us...man, Lord-what a lesson in stewardship this is.

Moved...

2010-06-28T22:21:00.000-07:00

My Story:

thank you for indulging me as I wonder into this world of light and Love. welcome to my blog. welcome to my journey.

Kindergarten...

2010-06-28T19:05:00.000-07:00

My little one...wants to be a professor. Just like me (well..i'm sort of a professor!) Ah..my heart runneth over!

Oh my dear lu-lu (one of Emily's MANY nicknames!) graduated from Kindergarten. Where has the time gone!?!?!?

RIP

2010-06-28T19:00:00.000-07:00

My red shoes. I know...random post. But you have NO idea how long i've tried to maintain and hold onto these red shoes. Got them at good'ol Target 4 years ago (should have bought a few pairs!) but I can no longer glue or sharpie them. Since i'm not suppose to be shopping till August, I had a dilema this past week. Replace, keep wearing my sad little shoes, what to do, what to do...
Target had a sale for $15 red shoes. So, I told Ry and I got new shoes. Yeah!! Sorry, dear friend. We walked many a road together...time to say goodbye.

Ed's Retirement

2010-06-26T09:49:00.000-07:00

Workin' the crowd

Ed is a HUGE, ENORMOUS USC fan. They used that theme throughout the party.

The Family (Linda not pictured, she is about to give a little speech)

My awesome father in law, Ed, retired from 35yrs of teach this year. The PTA threw him a suprise party that we knew about for months, yet somehow managed to keep it from him!! Below are some of the photo highlights from that night...oh and get ready...I finally found my photo computer cord, so i'm a photo uploading fool today!! hooray for updates!!!

Ed with his cakes

Ed and his lovely sister. We had her fly in to suprise him in case the party leaked and he found out about it. Well...it didn't leak, and to watch his suprise about the gathering when he walked into the hall was amazing, then to realize LeeAnn was here, was just a double treat. Thanks for flying out!!!

The boys...what is Will thinking in this photo?!?!

sunland..

2010-06-24T07:05:00.000-07:00

SO....We (as in Ryan and I) drove out to Sunland. We left at 3:15 and took the 5, we did this intentionally because if we were to move out there, on Thursdays, i'd be coming back to Sunland from Biola at that time (that's when one of the classes I would teach next fall gets out) and it took exactly 1 hour to get to Sunland from Biola. There was only a little bit of traffic. So, we got there, were greeted by Duke, the senior pastor, and he took us to dinner. It was so nice to finally meet him in person. We talked about our process from the time we said no to Sunland till now. Then we went back to the church and met the elders. Again, so thankful to finally meet them in person. After we shared with them about our process over the past few months, to then receive Duke's email and the process with that over the past two weeks, they shared their process and how even on their end, the time between was God ordained and they needed that time as well. They got a chance to get to know me a bit, and we are moving forward in this hiring process with them. The stewardship committee is meeting between now and July 18th (the next time we meet with them, it will be to meet the leaders of the church at a bbq) and then will give us their offer.

Thank you for your prayers. I feel so thankful and it's been amazing to sit back and watch the Lord work this all out. I know I wasn't so thankful several weeks ago, and couldn't see what the Lord was up to, even though I knew he had to be up to something since he closed a door at Talbot for me. I sit expectant to now watch him work this all out.

Update

2010-06-16T06:33:00.000-07:00

Thank you so much for those who left comments and also folks who wrote me encouragement in this time. I'm sorry if I haven't gotten back to you (abbie...sorry!) it has just been non-stop.

I'll pick up where I left off. We heard back from Sunland. From what I hear, this is not typical. Once you tell churches no, they don't come back to you. I recalled as I looked over my journal that if we say no to any church, Lord, if it was the wrong move, would you please bring it back to us. I know that I haven't posted this, but all along after saying no to Sunland, I kept thinking, "was this wrong?" I just didn't know if it was wrong or right. I didn't want to think about it because I felt like I was considering Sunland again out of fear because we didn't have any other 'yes' out there. But, we moved and trusted in faith. And Sunland came back.

So, a LOT has happened this past week, but to summarize, we wrote back and forth with the (ah...coffee..just took my first sip of it....hello friend!) Duke, the senior pastor, and we are going out there for dinner (the two of us with Duke) next wednesday, then a meeting with elder board that night. Then if all goes well and i'm sure further talks, job descriptions, answered questions of the reasons why we said no the last time and why we're saying yes now (i'll answer that in a moment), we meet with the search committee on July 18th (right after Ryan preaches at our church) for a bbq get to know you and your family time.

I think the reasons why we said no, a few remain to be answered. I think some of those questions might not be answered until you get into the job. You can't predict every scenario, every political fight, every triumph. Church can be such a haven, yet also such a prison, and we have felt both as we have served in various capacities. Truth be told, I just think it's down right scary at times to go back into church ministry after all we've gone through at different churches. However, we still feel so very called to ministry, together, in the church. One major reason why we said no, was the fact that we just didn't have a 'no' yet from Talbot. And last monday , we received that no. I still have a job there, but I can make it how ever many hours I want, which with the potential of moving further away and with kiddos, this works out really great. The Lord knew this when he said no to us/me at Talbot. I'm so thankful he let me know right away why he said no...that was super kind!

So, we covet your continued prayers. Discernment is a huge one-we don't want to take this out of fear that there is nothing else out there. There is the hope of something else out there that we will more than likely hear about next week too. There is also another church that has contacted Ryan...so they are not our only thing...just our only sure thing. But, is that so wrong? We prayed. God responded. In a way we had NO idea about, could not even manipulate or plan. Please also pray that we'd have clear communication with the pastor to know exactly their expectations of Ryan and that some of the things they offered in the last time we spoke still are on the table for us. Oh, another big reason we said no was because of health care. They were not going to offer it to us. Please pray that either that changes, or our talk with one of their elders who is in insurance is helpful, provides health care that we can afford that is not going to forsake our family's well being. Again, I say these things fully knowing that the Lord will move you to pray on our behalf as he leads you...and fully knowing that if this is the place we are to go, that He will fill in the gaps and make it work. He has so far....he's even let me lament and cry out to him in despair (see two posts ago!) and still cares for me in each.

Lastly...a dear friend said to us, "give yourself permission to make the wrong decision". i wonder if by saying no the last time, that was the wrong decision because it was so hard to say no-it was such a leap of faith...and we liked Duke so very much and the idea of them being able to work together and basically co-pastor together, was (at least to me in my words) dreamy. Now, it's back. And even if it might be a wrong decision even now...I just don't think it is. I say that so boldly because we are praying, we are in his will, we are not off galavanting (sp?) and seeking out other things apart from the Lord. We are abiding. If it's not what we are suppose to do, then he'll make it apparent and provide another job later. He won't let us fall (ps 55, matthew 6:25-34). He made that clear last week...even when I knew in my head that he wouldn't let us fall, my heart needed to catch up.

thanks for your prayers and for reading while i process...i/we'll keep you posted.

what?!!?!

2010-06-09T14:06:00.000-07:00

literally as i finished typing this blog we needed to check ryan's email. in it was an email from duke, the pastor from sunland basically asking us if we might want to re-open the dialogue for considering the assoc. pastor position. what are you up to Lord?

we'll keep you posted...

what a week....

2010-06-09T10:49:00.000-07:00

what a week! i'll post some photos soon (once i find my computer/photo cord!) ...but here is a recap:

final push to move
thursday morning had an interview at ISF for a job
aunt leeann came to town and picked her up at the airport on thursday, spent the night with her at the westin, did dessert and breakfast...super fun (HAPPY 60th!!!)
hid our dear aunt from her brother, my dear father in law for 24hrs
did some final moving prep for the big move on saturday
celebrated my father in law's retirement from 35yrs of teaching on friday night, finally got to let leeann out of the bag and she was a secret no longer
friday night-last night spent in hart hall...very emotional
woke up, got starbucks and coffee and moved 9 years of life to a new chapter that is yet to be written...literal. (i'll say more to that later)
moved (THANK YOU daus, stumps, hoopers, charity, julie, nate, alex, ryan, hubby, jake, daniel, mom and the many others who helped days/weeks prior...it really does take a village)
unpacked all weekend
monday found out i didn't get the job

so....now, we sit, in a new condo that thankfully we don't own and the rent is covered for a year. we have ry's paycheck till the end of july. we have a camp he is preaching at the first week in august...but other than that-the future is as clear as a blizzard.

to say that the last 48 hrs have been difficult is an understatement. in all honesty, i didn't think i was going to get the job for a few significant reason. one not being that i'm not qualified. i had all the qualifications-i had done everything on that job description. it just wasn't the best move for our family, and the Lord had to make that decision for us because frankly, in my human estimation, it was the best for our family. it would provide a stable income, insurance and it would be a job that i could do and i think love. i'm still employed as a spiritual director and adjunct professor. but i won't get paid till the end of september for the new semester of teaching (thankfully, they gave us a little raise). if i worked full time (it was more than a 40hr a week job, although they say it's only 40hrs), ry wouldn't have time to interview with churches b/c he'd have to be mr. mom. so, again, i understand....in my head...my heart however has yet to catch up with that. you can tell me logistically that we will be taken care of-i know that. but my heart is freaking out and despairing of what will happen to us. i know we will be carried, and that the lord has us in his hand. we have a roof over our head, food on the table...but i longed for some sort of stability... i know that the lord is stable...but this currently feels unstable. and i'm tired. this has been a hell of a semester...from interviewing in december with santa maria, to going up there, to not taking that job, to sunland, to not taking that job, to long beach, to not hearing back from them, to hearing about this job at talbot in february, then again in april, then waiting till the end of may for an interview, only to find out i didn't get it. why then did they even ask me to apply and interview for this position if they knew that they wouldn't hire me?! if you can tell, i'm grieving...on so many levels. grieving the loss of biola...grieving the loss of hart...grieving the loss of what i thought was an open door for talbot, perhaps another one will open, but at this point, we will search all over for a new job and it may take us out of the state...so i'm now grieving that because i didn't want to leave...

lord-what do you want from us in this time? i wanted us to rest after 9 years of living, loving, serving and ministering to college students...but how can i/we rest in this time with the future is so unwritten (in my sight, i know not yours)? sigh.....what are we going to do? lord-help. that is all i can muster in this time. show yourself.

sorry. this isn't the most uplifting of posts. but i'd be lying if i didn't share this. i needed to get it out. grief is messy, hard, sad, despairing, angry, weepy...

i think our experience over the past week/months has brought to mind birth. you are growing and maturing something so tender and beautiful for 9 months (our last 9 months at biola) and then birth occurs. it's rough. sometimes the labor is long, or super quick. you can't fully prepare for it no matter how much of an epidural or birth coaching you receive. once you get there, you have to do it. then birth happens...and all of the facets of after birth...sleep depervation, holding, crying, sleeping, caring...i just feel like i birthed. i'm getting rest. i'm eating, but the all of a sudden a wave of pain comes, like a contraction or that moment when you are trying everything in your power to help your newborn sleep, or eat...and it's not working. you just have to be patient and wait it out....

however, i'm tired...my sleep isn't restful...i wake up to the reality of our reality...and wonder what will happen today...

thanks for listening. thanks for your prayers. i'll keep you posted.

so much

2010-05-30T07:01:00.001-07:00

there is so much to catch you up on...and yet i have felt overwhelmed at times to post my thoughts because in the midst of closing down here in hart, it has been vocationally silent...and i'm tired of the question, "so what are you going to do after you leave?". To be honest, the look on people's face when they hear us say, "we don't know, we are trusting God" is not what i look forward to. probably because their faces reflect at times what i am feeling about God in this whole thing. at times, he feels near, at times he is so distant and silent i feel like my cries are reverberating against the walls and just echo back into my face. so...do you blame me for not wanting to post? but, i also know, we are being carried by prayer by so many of you-i owe it to you to share my/our heart-no matter how messy. thank you for your patience.

well...let's get vocation out of the way first since it's the shortest...nothing on the ryan front. he met with our denomination guy and there are three churches out there-one in the forest up in tahoe, one in upstate new york/buffalo and another one that i can't recall (perhaps the 29 palms one still?). so, our application goes off to all of them. who knows. i don't feel anything towards this really because we are i think 5th on the list in 29 palms and there is just so much going on here, and with what kind of roller coaster ride it had been earlier on this semester with the other two churches, i just can't ride that ride until there is a ride to ride ; )

for me-there has been a job that i've been pretty excited about, but scared to death about all in the same breath for a bit now. i can't talk too much about it but to say after 3 months of little conversations here and there about it, and then a month of serious prayer and conversation about it, the position is official (finally) and i'm applying for it this week. it's local, it's awesome and the timing of it is rather divine-and i'm trying not to hold tightly to it as if to say that it will carry us through this and save us-because it won't. do you know how hard it is to not hold tightly to things?!?!? it'd be pretty awesome and i will be very sad if i don't get it...because if i don't, that means this door here as i can see it for now is officially closed and we will apply everywhere to find a job. if it doesn't close and i do get it, i think there are also other layers that would be sad, but also amazed. we'll see. please pray this week as i send in my app and resume. pray for discernment...

now...leaving hart. i just don't think it's hit me yet. i have waves of emotion...most of them at the moment have been just absorbing the gratitude of others towards Ryan (and me too at times!) on how he's been impactful and pastoral and gracious etc... towards them. it is a gift to sit by and hear others speak so adoringly about your spouse. i'm so serious-everything they say i feel and say so often, but the effect it has coming from another person as much more weight. i pray he can absorb this all in...and i also pray if i do get the job above, that will free him up a bit more to settle into this new stage in life post-dorm living to really recollect what the last 9 years has been about. even though we went on retreat about a month ago, we both need a retreat again to process letting go...anyway...

last weekend we had a bbq with as many of our RAs as we could get here (about 30-ish i think!) from over the last 9 years...it was amazing!!! fun, conversations, seeing marriages and kids running around (we have had quite a success rate with couples hooking up from staff to staff!!) it was a rich time. it ended with them all praying over us (kids as well...so moving. i think that was their first time experiencing something like that...they actually sat rather still for it!). it was overwhelming. i feel so loved and honored and blessed. this job is really a 24 a day job. there are times/moments we are 'off'...but we are always really on. if the door knocks, we can choose to ignore it (and we do!) and we screen our calls, but at any moment, the fire alarm could go off, there could be a person considering suicide, roommate conflict, bbq, someone who needs a pot to cook spaghetti...you name it...and you know what? i've loved almost every moment of it! (fire alarms are NOT my favorite. power outages are NOT my favorite) i'm the support-i don't have to answer and move on a conflict or distress call, i remain here-however, i've baked more cookies than i can count, made more pots of coffee (gone through 4 pots in 9 years), sat, cried, prayed, rejoiced with so many students over the years that i would not trade it for anything.

ryan commented last week that we haven't made a lot of money. but we are rich. and i'd agree. this ministry has changed us. for the better. for the richer. and i honestly have no clue what life will be like post-hart. quieter (looking forward to not living below men!)...less knocks on our door (sort of sad about that)...i'll be processing here i'm sure what it's like : ) but tonight we say goodbye to our RAs and send them off with a blessing (something ry and i have done every year that i'm so excited about...again-a very rich experience)...i can't wait to pray over these dear ones. then, i think i can begin to let go and do the final push to move this week.

i'll try to not be so silent next week. thank you for your support-your prayers-your care over us. i can't imagine what this time would be like w/o your prayers.

condo!!

2010-05-06T21:10:00.001-07:00

we got the condo!!!!!!!!!!!! oh lord....thank you. two bedroom, two bath (yeah!! seriously, one bath and four people are hard...doable, just precarious at times!) and a loft to turn into the kids play area / aly sewing area / future slumber party area. a cute little patio for summer night bbq'ing and early morning devos....we turn in the deposit tomorrow. we can move in anytime after the 15th. as we celebrate our final all hall, it's a huge heaving sigh of relief that even though our jobs are uncertain as of now, we have a home. thank you lord.

thank you all for your kind words/comments on here and on facebook. i feel so loved and prayed for.

First of Lasts

2010-05-06T06:56:00.000-07:00

This month is beginning our final things. This is our last month in Hart Hall. This time next month, we will be figuring out how to celebrate our daughters 6th birthday (WHAT!) and moving our 9yrs of living into a new space (we find out today about that condo! oh Lord, please!!)

It occurred to me last night as i was cranking out 12 loads of laundry, pushing my laundry cart down the hall of Hub in Hart to our apartment, that I think i'll be doing this 2 more times, then i'll hopefully have my own washer and dryer. With each passing day, moment even...I keep thinking of these things being the first of our last things. Our last all hall is tonight. Our last bbq was last week (oh man...no more free chicken, seriously, I've bought a bag of chicken maybe 7 times in 9 years....i'll have to adjust our grocery fund!)...

I want to / we want to finish well. But not just that because I have the sense we will (meaning, not leaving this place with fists raised unable to ever revisit), but as I type this, I want to be present to what is going on right now. My dear friend/professor and her husband gave us a weekend away at their retreat center (the place I always take my classes up to for retreat, but actually never have the chance TO retreat!) (THANK YOU SO MUCH JUDY AND GENE!), and I kept asking the Lord to have our future known to us at that time. Now, much can happen between this morning and tomorrow afternoon prior to departure, but I want to be present to what is going on now and not miss it. I want to embrace final hugs, soak them in, cut some roses from the Hart hall garden, play in the courtyard, enjoy the students in the lobby (Dan!! Marcia! Chris, Heather...and the many other lobby folk!), let the kids run up and down the stairs... soak in the last all hall...celebrate with our RAs next week...and just soak in the moments in our little place that I love so much....we started a family in this place...we fought, prayed, loved, laughed, cried countless times in this place...had hundredes of cookies made and gallons of coffee and hot cocoa served in this place....prayed over students on our couch...pre marital counseled, relationship counseled, countless RA meetings....the list goes on....how can I stop waiting and being frustrated with not knowing our future so I can be ever present to our present? Please pray this with me and for me.

silence

2010-05-06T06:47:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in quite a while because frankly, all there really is to say is that the waiting process we are in is silent. Loudly silent. Have you ever been silent for a while and really, it isn't? Your mind is just running, planning, listing, doing everything BUT being silent? That is how this time has been for us. How do you wait patiently as the Psalmist says? Sigh....I don't know the answer to that. I have debated on posting anything lately because I just felt like I couldn't...but then I thought, maybe I wasn't alone. I'm sure that at some point or another many of you all have also felt stuck...waiting in silence.

One thing that is new, that we find out about today, is about our new home. I turned in our first renters application with all our info. One enormous grace and provision is that my in laws (who were amazing to begin with) are going to pay for our rent for a year while we transition out of life post Biola and Ryan continues to look for a job. Even typing that I become overwhelmed with gratitude that even when I think times are silent, the Lord knows and is at work.

Another place I have seen God at work in this silent time, is (i guess not so silent...so, maybe this time hasn't been so silent after all!) how he heard the things I wanted about a home and hopefully today we'll find out. Seriously, all this past weekend my mom in law and I looked all over La Habra/Fullerton/La Mirada at some places (staying in the area b/c I am the one employed at the moment) and it was bleak! I thought our price range was good but we just were not finding anything. Monday morning I journalled what I wanted and gave it up-was I being too picky? Not open enough? I checked craigs list and there was a posting for a corner upstairs condo with a garage, two baths, two bedroom, a LOFT! and a washer and dryer and a patio...in our price range (well, $25 over...BUT c'mon!) So again, I wait anxiously patiently for the Lord and our hopefully potential landlord, to find out if we get it. I'll let you know...

so many things....

2010-04-14T07:04:00.000-07:00

Lately I have been feeling so many things. SO many. Since making our announcment that we are leaving Hart Hall, it has become more and more real to me that we are leaving. I know, duh, right? But, as we were having a fire drill of all things, watching the college students play with our kids and their faces just lighting up and enjoying themselves so much, I just couldn't help but think of the unique experience the little lows have had. then it brought me to the thoughts of how we came to biola with a matress, 25 boxes and a heavy tv. we are leaving with two children and a home full of furniture.

This past year has been a hiatus of shopping for me (no clothes). This sunday is my last clothing exchange (where all your friends bring good, old clothes and accessories to swap with one another) here in this apartment. Again, another 'last'.

As i continue to look to our future to wonder, where in the world the lord will take us, the only thing that i have come to is this-the very huge truth of the matthew sermon on the mount-to not to worry about tomorrow b/c it will take care of itself, today has enough worry of it's own. i experienced that last night as i laid down, mind racing, trying to let go of worry and fear of our future. i'm SO thankful we have a God who can take our fears, anxieties and every other emotion we experience. and I am ever more grateful that in that verse, it gives me a new lens to look through. when i hear that verse at first i felt like, "yeah, yeah, of course i'm not suppose to worry, but i am god! what the heck!?!? do you know what month it is?!? do you know we have NO job prospects any longer? don't you know about august and September when we won't have an income or health care?!?!? " then the verses prior to the above say, "do you not have enough clothes? enough food?..." again, the voice of the verse began to say to me, "be present. allow yourself the gift of grieving the loss of this place and what it has meant to you...be present, don't look to the future, but consider the blessings i have for you today.."

thank you lord. thank you for this place...thank you for ryan who you gave to me to listen to my cries at 1am in the morning over this (thank you coffee...) and for this blog to process a bit of my...well, process. help me to be present and to trust that you have our future in your hands.

another blog....

2010-04-10T16:21:00.001-07:00

so...we love to blog....we've not blogged in a while because there are some things we have just not been able to make public yet. but here are some new things
1) we turned down sunland. they are an amazing church, just not a fit for us
2) we interviewed with a church in long beach that we are in the beginning phases with. we're going to check it out tomorrow
3) ry started a blog!! his very own blog! he is WAY more articulate and crafty with his words than i, here is his new link http://thatmansblog.blogspot.com/

so...check out his blog (although, he just made it, there are no posts quite yet)

we'll continue to keep you posted on our job hunting.

Easter, part one

2010-04-03T22:00:00.000-07:00

Elena...hunting for eggs

Cara and Ellie...they were so cute holding hands!

I caught Michele by suprise! She is soooo beautiful and has the best curly hair

The Low men

Could she be any cuter? She totally posed for me : )

Katrina (Emily's dear friend who's family hosted the egg hunt) and Emily. Man, they are getting so big!!

Hey....He is Risen!! We have have an awesome weekend of celebrating with friends here and there. here are some photos of the weekend so far.

change

2010-03-23T06:55:00.000-07:00

friends...

i'm so sorry that i've been quiet. There actually has been so much going on this past month with sickness and about our future in this vocational area of our life that to write you would be a daily occurrence. it felt too overwhelming to write/blog. seriously, just when i think the day is done, something else will bring forth new information and prayer (last night at 11:15p to be exact!). this past week and evening provided more info and prayer than i think ever in our life (or at least in my most recent memory).

last update: we were considering santa maria (the harbor church), tujunga (sunland neigboorhood church) and apu (PhD program). in and amongst this all was also the strong consideration of leaving biola this year after 9 years of serving the students of hart hall. here are some decisions that have been made so far and a small insight into that choice. again, i'll try to summarize (if you want all the juicy details let's do coffee, i'd love to tell you!)

last week we made the decision to say no to APU. after several significant conversations with wise counsel, the lord and just observing what was in front of us (the choice between higher ed or the church), ry felt called to the church, not the classroom. (again, a nutshell) we emailed apu and feel such a peace about this choice.

as well as saying no to APU, we also said no in our hearts to staying here another year at biola. after a week long prayer in this decision, asking for movement to stay, we both are one in the decision to leave hart this year after nine years of living amongst college students. this is a huge leap. last year we felt like we were going to go (heck, for a few years we felt like we wanted to go! but the Lord kept us, which in staying showed us the 'why' God kept us here for so long), but in deciding to stay, the Lord made is sooooo apparent-in making the choice to now leave, we feel confirmed by so many others in our life, as well as just in our own prayer time together. we are going to take the leap to go. we both feel so 'one' in this decision and we are at peace even though the reality of saying this out loud today is hitting us, we both still feel one. thank you lord. (if you wanna help us move in june, let us know! we'll need it!)

santa maria is a no. after further talks, prayer and discernment, we are saying no to santa maria. they want a youth pastor and a worship director. no matter how much they want to change the position, this is what they need. it would not be a good move for our family even though they are wonderful people, it's not a good fit (financially, theologically, philosophically...etc...)

so the 'yes's' in our life-

i still have a job (although part time) that I LOVE here at isf/talbot. that (as far as i know) won't change unless we move far away.

we thought we were going to keep william in preschool but after many meetings with teachers and school psychologists, we are moving him onto kindergarten!! i can't believe i'll have a kindergartener and a 1st grader!!! i'm soooo proud of them!!

ryan wants to be a senior pastor. after taking some time to dream, pray, journal and pray some more, and gathering wisdom from others in life, this feels like such a great fit for him. we doubted this last year, but that doubt took him on a journey into fears and anxiety that the Lord really brought the truth of himself into. i think now, in all honesty, the fear is "lord, now that we've made these decisions, will you bridge the gap and move us on" we trust his provision (there is soooo much to look back on and trust in this!) and therefore move forward looking for senior pastor positions.

sunland has brought another offer to the table and we are seriously considering it. it's an assoc. pastor position, but the senior pastor is part time and ry would really be acting in much of a senior pastor roll-just not teaching week in and week out. we are one of two folks they are looking at. we LOVE the senior pastor and feel like he and ry would get along so well. we have a meeting in which we both will be going to april 19th to meet the board as a couple, and dinner with Duke sometime in between then as well.

some checks of continued prayer and discernment that we are praying about (and ask for your wisdom and if you feel so led, a response):

do we feel called to minister in LA? can we see growing our family here? do we need to open our hearts (although i feel as though they are open to where the Lord leads) more? we LOVE duke (the pastor) and the men who are elders and serve along side Duke, but do we love this church? Sunday night brought a HUGE conversation into this area that we are weighing/discerning/praying etc...about. please ask questions, please offer wisdom...we are in the info gathering stage and covet your voice in our life. we don't want to take the job because it's the only thing out there if we leave biola. BUT, we don't want to be irresponsible. but is taking the leap to say no to sunland the leap of faith we need to take to see what the lord has for us?

there is much much more, but short of writing 10 pages, i'll end here. there is a dream out there that we are laying before the lord and we are praying that he'll open the doors to this...but in the meantime, we wait patiently upon the lord as he hears our cries (ps 40!) and watch expectantly each day as he continues to show us how is our foundation, our rock and our provider.

i love you all...thanks for hanging in there with our job updates...
aly

go away....

2010-02-23T09:21:00.000-08:00

my attempt to make a dress, then em said "i like it how it is" so then i added another panel of the pink lotus flower to make it a bit longer so it's more boheimian (like the skirts i saw at target!) so now that i figured out how to do it, i have a TON of random fabric that i'm sure matches in some way to make some more flowie skirts for her since shorts are not her favorite. (sounds like someone else i know...that's MY girl!)

the skirt i always make b/c its easy and i seriously can make it in less than a hour...i do need to branch out, but it's too easy and it looks great on

remember the dress i repurposed below for myself? this is the left over fabric that i made a dress /jumper for emily. i added little rosettes at the straps to hide my stitching on of the straps. it'd be cute with just a tank for summer, or leggings/jeans and a long sleeve shirt for winter...hopefully when she's well she can wear it!

FINALLY made my friend's daughter her playhouse bedding (her birthday was back in january! the comforter turned out more like a pot holder! (sorry michele!) but, they could use it as an area rug!!

the skirt i made for ellie with left over adorable fabric...that could fit her thigh! it's way too small...so my dear friend katrina will get it for her newborn little girl. katrina, i still owe you diaper cloths and a nursing hider...do you still need those?

em, will and ryan have all had bronchitis the past couple weeks (em got it friday). em has had a fever on and off since friday and FINALLY last night at yet another luke warm bath with tylenol in her body to attack that fever...i think it finally (knock on wood) finally broke. we'll see...the cough remains...

so...what does a mother do when her kids and husby are sick? well...all weekend i cleaned, laundered, disinfected, washed, mopped every surface in sight (all but the couch, need to take the slipcover off and do that...jessica-the gift of this couch is unbelievable!!! this seriously was my dream couch while kids were in the house and my good dear friend jessica gave hers to me!! THANK YOU!! what would i do w/o slipcovers?!?!?) and then yesterday i sewed some new clothes for em...she needed a pick me up (and so did i!) i'm still figuring out how to sew, but at least they are wearable : ) i had purchased for christmas a box of random yardage of amy butler print fabric on ebay and am STILL making clothes with all of the fabric! i'm going to attempt an apron at some point this week...

anyway...are you all well?

update on job stuff...

2010-02-16T16:16:00.000-08:00

We just had an awesome weekend (however, Ry now has bronchitis...bummer!) up in Santa Maria. The church had us all go up and check out the church and we were apart of several meals, meet and greets and Ryan was interviewed by the search committee. To say that the central coast is beautiful is an understatement. What an awesome gift from God to have clear blue skies, wonderful tour guides (THANK YOU RAES!) and a small taste of what it could look like to live up there and experience the community of The Harbor church. We loved the people and town. We are prayerfully considering, as they are too, if this is a good fit for us/them. We have a lot of variables to pray and consider. We are also meeting with another church up in the LA area. Ry meets with them next week and we visit the church this Sunday. Please keep us in your prayers as we discern what the next steps are, what the best fit for our family and Ryan is. We have not been offered a job by either church, so we are still here at Biola and committed to the awesome community here until the Lord moves us on. Pray that we are able to stay present to them in the process. We really enjoyed being up north, but again, staying open to the Lord in this process.

I have to be honest...it is sort of nerve wracking...BUT...I can't tell you how covered in prayer we feel and are so blessed by our community-thank you. I am also pretty excited each day to watch the Lord at work and what in the world he is up to. So i'm soooo expectant. We'll keep ya posted.

new camera

2010-01-31T11:50:00.000-08:00

i got a new camera for christmas!!!!!!!! a nikon d5000. i'd learning still...but here is a pictoral glance at our month...

During the storm the past few weeks, we finally let the kids out and let them puddle jump it up...they had sooo much fun!!

The girl cousins all got GC to Disney 365, this store at downtown disney, and got their hair all done and had suuuch a blast getting their hair and makeup done. sooooo fun!!! can they be this big already??!?!

One of the other christmas gifts was a pass to a rock climbing gym. The kids LOVE it.

Our little one lost her first front tooth!!

I turned this dress (below) that I never wore, into the dress (above) courtesy of this awesome website!!

two dear dear dear friends got hitched!! Todd and Beth Tabor. YEAH!!!

Ry got his rock star on at our annual new years eve bash at our church. All of downtown fullerton's streets close down and are filled with bands, bounce houses and food for the community to come and have a safe new years celebration at. Our church opens the gym up and has a band made up of folks from the congregation play cover tunes. This is when Ryan is singing (can't recall the song, maybe dead or alive by bon jovi?)

What has your month looked like?

job updates...

2010-01-31T11:45:00.000-08:00

so...there has been quite a stirring this past month with job hunt and ideas....thus the reason i've been a bit quite. there is quite a lot to sift and pray through and even as i type i think of conversations that were had just yesterday that still tell me, i'm not in charge-the lord is. no matter what ducks i try to put in a row, he is the one who knows the journey to our story and i just need to sit, watch him work and abide. here is the latest that we could use your prayers in:

We have a few things that are before us that we could use clarity on, and just a covering from you dear ones as we sift through where it is we are being led...here is a bit of background and update on some things that Ryan wrote to his peeps, which encouraged me to send it off to you all for prayer as well. Below are both of our hearts right now.

i'm (aly) really praying, considering about possibly applying for PhD programs. Currently i'm looking at Fuller's PhD in Psych and Loma Linda's DMFT program (i'm open to others, this is just what i've look at so far) I'm just having little conversations here and there with folks who are in these programs and their thoughts on them. I'm also trying to really consider if this is something that our family can handle. How much of a PhD program can I handle while being a wife and mother.? What PhD program will let me take things at a slower pace? Are we nuts to think about this, we don't have money to pay for a PhD program! I've not taken math in over 15 years, and I have to take the GRE in order to get into a PhD program...sigh....anyway, I do know the Lord will provide the money and the intellect in order to pass if this is indeed the path he wants me to go. I have really come to love teaching and being with college/post college aged men and women. I'm so thankful for the opportunities i've had through ISF to teach. It's been challenging to say the least, but also there are moments of utter glee like this is just where i've been called to be. I'm just in a season of a lot of discernment and would love / covet you joining me / us in prayer. Ryan is also really considering this as well as he looks as positions...if this is the road for me to take now, or later...he's just so supportive, i'm so thankful. anyway...

Below are Ryan's requests:

Last year we met with a man named Dennis baker. He is basically a professional headhunter for the EV free denomination. This was such a cool meeting and made aly and i very hopeful. since then he went on sabbatical but now he is back. He has tossed our name to three churches. they are listed:

1) A church in san diego area- they dropped me when they found I didn't have an Mdiv
2) church in Santa Maria- the position is a half time worship; half time youth position. I met with them, they called all of my references. I'll talk more on them in a second
3) A church in Tujunga/Sunland; basically a senior pastor position without the teaching. I would be a pastor of the people and leading and developing teams.

so here's where the status is with these positions:
1. Santa maria- Is highly interested in me. But I told them I was out, did not want to be a youth pastor anymore. they told me how disappointed they were but appreciated my honesty. then they told me they were going to re-work the position and get back to me if they could find a situation that fits. Since they I spoke with a friend who had a long conversation with them... My friend told me he thinks they were going to hire me and in possibly 5-10 years, give me the senior pastor role. Crazy... i didn't hear back from them till today. they want to talk, they are willing to explore other options. I think this is a way of saying, we are willing to do some tailoring to make this position fit you... CRAZY!!! (update, ry spoke with them yesterday and man, they just seem like amazing people who really want to nurture ryan in this pastoral role and shepherd him as he learns to and shepherds others. the plan is to go up sometime in february to check out the church ourselves and meet with folks in person. we'll keep you posted)

2. Tujunga- I met with the senior pastor last week. Very cool chap. He's basically their teaching pastor. He lives 40 miles away and commutes in to teach and that's all. They need someone else, someone to be on premises and to lead from there. I really liked what I heard, i also liked his honesty, he seems like a good fit with me. they want me to go to the next step with them. (aly's addition: this church is also a few miles away from Fuller Seminary, which is one place i'm looking)

finally,
I just applied to a PhD program at APU. I will be waiting to hear back if I get in. If I do, it makes sense to hang out a couple more years, to be accessible to the college world. Or to look for jobs in another College setting, my preference is Christian.

three options that still need to be teased out. None may come to fruition. i have several prayer requests:

1) Clarity- Oh Lord help me understand the ways you have wired me and what is truly exciting to me!!
2) Please lead my heart
3) Can you show me the next step?
4) give me peace for RIGHT NOW! cuz I am here and here is the only place I am. I must lean into you God and be at peace that you are leading me.
I am grateful for your intercession.

Friends, thank you so much, we are so so very thankful you have taken the time to read this (sorry so long!) and to join us in prayer. we'll keep you posted on what transpires. Please feel free to ask questions, offer responses etc...etc...we value you and your voice in our life.

Love to you all
Alyssa

sick....

2010-01-31T11:41:00.000-08:00

ah...i've been sick all week. all my plans of posting new photos and sharing what's going on is sort of on hold while i get better...
i have that poem in my head again "i cannot go to school today, said little peggy ann mckay"...
although i don't have a rash or purple bumps (thank GOD) i am congested, foggy, slow, sleepy, coughy and achy.
: ( boo...

the kids are fine. congested, but have energy and ry has been a HUGE help in a weekend when he usually can't be of much help. it's opening weekend for the spring term here at biola, so he is usually working out room mate conflicts and ironing out housing issues, but it's been a kinder process this weekend...i'm so thankful. and the kids have been great too. now, if the laundry could just do itself....

Musings...

2010-01-06T07:17:00.000-08:00

Hey friends and family!

I have sort of 'resolved' (in the spirit of the new year) to blog a bit more over at water4thesoul. I have always wanted to post different devotional ideas and musings and so, I have!! go check it out :)

I also got a new camera for christmas so i'll be posting some new pics and video soon of the fam!!

Peace to you all
Alyssa

So far...

2010-01-04T15:47:00.001-08:00

This is my favorite blog!! my mama made it

her site is where it got the pattern for the girls christmas dresses...

now, she is giving away a cape she made...so i'm entering the drawing...hope i win (i usually don't win these giveaways...but hey, a girl can dream!) this cape would be soo much fun made small for all the girls!!!

xoxoxo

Merry Christmas!!

2009-12-26T20:18:00.000-08:00

Alicia's apron i sewed her

The christmas dresses I made all the girl cousins
Here is a link to the pattern/blog that i got this dress from

All the skirts I made for the girls for christmas

Twirling

Hey all!! Well...I am sitting here, post easy bake oven testing (two cookies...took about an hour to cook after going around town searching for the correct light bulb...at least she had fun!) watching the USC/Boston game at my in laws sitting wishing I hadn't eaten so much...Thought it'd be a great time to update y'all

Christmas was awesome this year! It always is...but man...it was really an amazing few days. I have not been shopping really since August and it was such a overload of stuff! I wasn't so sure about going out by myself as gift giving is a HUGE love of mine, so Ry and I went together. That was so much fun! We also only went over budget by about $50...when usually it's more like $500! so...i'm sooo proud of us!!

We also tried to institute some new traditions of our own. We really wanted to figure out a way to bring home the idea/reality of Christ's birth and that we are celebrating his birth, not just opening presents. So, we took about 10% of what we allocated for christmas shopping money and went on www.worldvision.com and the kids got to choose two gifts to give to Jesus. Emily chose two baby chickens to give to a family and William chose two soccer balls to give away.

We spent Christmas Eve with The Lows and Christmas day with my family ending the day at the Lows. Here are some photos of our 24 hrs. I hope and pray you had such a wonderful time with family and friends. Love to you and yours!
The Lows

2009-a RAD christmas letter!!!

2009-12-17T15:35:00.001-08:00

The Low’s: A RAD Christmas Letter

Hello everyone and welcome to our RAD Christmas letter!!!

Why do you call it RAD? Is it not a bit presumptuous to say your letter is RAD? Whose standards do you use to actually make an accurate reading as far as if this is really RAD or not? And by the way: Who uses the word RAD anymore?

These are great questions. Totally! Who uses the word RAD anymore? WE DO!!! We use it in the terms of RAD being short for the word “radical” which is defined by Webster’s dictionary as: marked by a considerable departure from the usual or traditional : extreme b : tending or disposed to make extreme changes in existing views, habits, conditions, or institutions.

So check it out: This letter is truly RAD because it talks about the ways we departed from the norm and, my hope, is that it departs from the norm of Christmas letters out there. Are we presumptuous? Maybe but then again, we do not normally consider ourselves as presumptuous so...We are ALREADY BEING RAD!!!! WooHOO!

Some RAD things that happened this year:

1) RAD Utah Trip: A couple of years ago, Aly and I were stupid enough to buy a timeshare. So we decided we would use it and go to Utah where one of our timeshare locations is. We took the kids (this was the first time we had been to Utah as a family how RAD is that?) and also went with my sister Nikki and her family. On our first day there, William got altitude sickness (He does not normally contract this sickness thus it is out of the norm, thus it is RAD), and threw up several times. He slept the entire night and then woke up as good as new. What did we do in Utah? We hiked to a secluded waterfall, we overlooked Cedar breaks national monument (Huge canyon with red clay rock formations, absolutely breathtaking). My nephew, bro-in-law and myself went fishing on a dingy in the middle of a lake in the mountains and totally owned it. I am not usually a good fishermen. I’m not even good enough to be a bad fisherman. But this day, I caught fish. This is out of the norm. We were so Stinking RAD that day!!! All in all, it was a RAD trip.

2) Alyssa RADically sticks it to the man!!! About six months ago, Alyssa decided she was going to stop shopping for a year. This has been a very challenging exercise for her but it has been so awesome! Have you ever sat down and thought about just what it is you spend money on and why you do? Over these last few years we have come face to face with our ability to spend impulsively (refer to line item #1), feeling so swayed by our desire for something (clothing for Alyssa, Del Taco red burritos for Ryan) that we begin misconstruing our wants for needs. To take a break from spending impulsively has been SO CHALLENGING. Man it’s digging stuff from the corners of our souls that are mostly covered in cobwebs. This has been such a RAD change.

3) RADical beginnings: Kids provide us with the great opportunity to experience “firsts” again in our lives. This year Emily began kindergarten. She is no longer a toddler. She graduated from toddler clothing. William, began preschool this year. He is such a little man! They both played in a soccer league at church. It was an indoor soccer league. It was mostly a frustrating experience. As a parent you want your children to just naturally walk out there and dominate everyone. I thought to myself: “My kids are athletic, they like to run and climb, they should be great!” Hmmmmmm.

On the first day of the soccer league I got a dose of reality that would last the entire duration of our season. Emily and William were on the same team. So in the middle of a basketball court surrounded by 5 foot high walls, is a group of children with team uniforms, shin guards and very little control. It was pretty close to chaos. Us parents were ordered to march our children out to the middle of the court and help them warm up. My daughter begins running around, with no particular intended direction seeming to become evident. My son is hugging my leg furiously with no particular intention of letting go seeming to become evident. The game begins, and just as quickly do my dreams of my children’s dominance end. My son has no interest in joining the swirling maelstrom of children chasing a soccer ball. I don’t blame him though, you see every child out there was older than him and to be honest William has not really grasped the art of running well. Certainly he can run, but his stride is not a straight forward gallop, but rather more like the illegitimate lovechild of skipping, and cross country skiing. While he performs what ballet dancers call a sauté (pronounced “so-Tay”) his hands awkwardly spin in wide circles at his sides rising and dipping. There is no purpose to his run, no immediacy, no mechanical efficiency and thus, no speed. And so with this in mind, we see a scared little boy holding feverishly to his father’s leg as twenty children dart around him in what can only be described as a mad tribal dance of chaos and pigtails. My daughter on the other hand, was running furiously after the ball (Due to my instruction), but would then inexplicably veer off to look at a crack in the wall, or to say “hello” to her grandparents. I could only sigh. We’ve got a long way to go. So later, I took them out to the soccer field to practice their kicking, head butting skills, and their killer instinct. After five minutes my children began asking for water, and when we were going to go back to the house. I wondered if I failed as a father. Spongebob wins again...

Still, after all is said and done, it was a year of firsts, stepping out of the norm. And for that I must say it was RAD.

4) RAD musicians: Now that the children are getting a little older we decided it was time to begin their education. Education in what? Education in music! More precisely: the good stuff. As this year progressed Aly and I began to see just how much our children love music. We decided it was time for their education to begin. I began to put together CDs that were mixes of the important stuff for them to know. Example; the latest CD had “Living on a prayer” by Bon Jovi, and “Sweet Child of mine” by Guns and Roses. We had to. Life without a knowledge of these two songs is like having a diet without dairy, or protein, or in my case, cola. My Children both love Switchfoot and they are beginning to get a working knowledge of one of the most underrated rock bands of all time: “Journey”. I love how my son screams along to “Panama”, By Van Halen and my daughter loves to scream to “put your records on” by Corrinne Bailey Rae. My kids are rockers!!! Yea! So RAD! Just recently we were given four tickets to the Switchfoot new album release concert at the house of blues. We decided to take the kids. I know, this is not a good idea, but we thought, let’s give it a shot. So we put earplugs in their ears, and went to the show. Before the concert my son told us: “I’m so excited I might explode”. The truth? He was pretty much beside himself the whole show, grinning ear to ear, singing along, playing air drums. Yes I have begun instructing them in the sacred art of playing air instruments. Mostly, drums, guitar, bass, and a little bit of keyboard. (Yes there is a difference between air bass and air guitar, it’s all in the placement of the fingers, and hand movements in coordination with musical timing. Hey, this is important stuff). It was our first concert and has cemented in my son’s mind; that he wants to be a rock star. Which isn’t too bad, he’s already deathly pale and wafe-ishly thin. He’s well on his way!!

5) RADical Endings: Alyssa finished grad school. How RAD is that! We were so stoked to celebrate her as she walked forward to get her Master’s degree. Since then she has been working for the university in a variety of roles and basically growing as a group leader, a director, a therapist, and other overall RADness! Sometimes people comment how they are so amazed she got her Bachelor’s and master’s degree all the while being pregnant, giving birth, and raising two children. I am amazed myself. Another RADical ending? I ended my five-year gig as a worship music director at church. It became absolutely clear that I needed to step down and though I have missed leading, I am so certain this was the right choice. It has been so wonderful to have a more simple way of living life. We are so grateful because financially, God has really provided in amazing ways, which serves as more confirmation that this was the path he wanted us to walk. We have really been walking a path of trust and uncertainty in some areas, and yet God has truly been faithful to us.

Some Random RAD things:

- Alyssa has learned to sew, and is a sewing fiend

- I have finally admitted I like strawberry daiquiris more than beer, martinis, or margarita’s. I know, Daiquiri’s are the ultimate “girly” drink, but they’re so good, while drinking beer is just a chore.

- Emily is a Rock Climber!!! We took the kids to a rock climbing gym- Emily tore that place up!

- William starts his career as a barber- by cutting his own hair. Let’s say this career did not have an auspicious beginning.

Well, we truly wish to once again send you our love and appreciation. This has been a very special year for our family and many of you have been part of that. We are so grateful to our Lord Jesus Christ, who has been very actively transforming us as we come to know him more and more. May your holidays and the year to come be filled with RADness. Merry Christmas- The Lows

no shopping update...

2009-11-29T21:46:00.000-08:00

so...my no shopping experiment slash rehab update:

i was going to move the blog over to here...but decided not too...so if you want updates, go to:

http://www.conversantlife.com/alyssalow

or click on the shopping cart icon somewhere on my sidebar on this blog to see updates. i just posted a few, trying to catch up a bit...

hope you are all rested well from this thanksgiving week/weekend. it was a very fun and very full weekend!!

wow...fun vacation...

2009-11-27T17:03:00.000-08:00

hey all!! so...the kids have had an awesome vacation!! we went rock climbing at a gym we are thinking of getting a membership to for a family christmas gift...ry took em on a daddy daughter date to the dana point tide pools...i took will on a date to the playground that he has dubbed the spiderweb park b/c of all the places you can climb and ropes that look like spiderwebs...thanksgiving with family and friends...sleeping in each morning, pancakes....and now, we are either stupid or going to have the best family memory to date...we are going to go as a whole young family to a switchfoot concert!! molly and matt gave us tickets to the switchfoot concert tonight that is at downtown disney at the house of blues because they know how much the kids love switchfoot (the kids were their ring bearer and flower girl for their wedding!). william LOVES LOVES LOVES switchfoot and was actually growing his hair out to look like jon foreman until he cut his hair himself! so....here we go!! i'll let you know how it goes!!

praise

2009-11-25T09:16:00.000-08:00

so..a bit ago i posted a blog titled,'hard'. well...part of that post i think talked about our transmission in our accord. well...a praise to report (sort of a few weeks late...but....) it wasn't our transmission. our awesome mechanic drove our car around and ran the computer test on it and it wasn't the transmission. although it is still not quite right, he didn't want to put in a $2,000 transmission yet until he ruled out all other possibilities. so, we are driving it around still, but with a new radiator (which was cracked) and oil change it only cost $600!! yeah...thank you lord it wasn't $2000!! so...he will see the car again in 3k miles to check it out and see what it is. yeah!!

also, another praise...we have totally been doing so well adhering to our budget! so much so we actually have money for christmas presents!! i'm so stoked!!!

thank you, lord!! much to be thankful for...what are you thankful for?

christmas 09 preview

2009-11-24T20:58:00.000-08:00

hey all! so we have some photos from our christmas photo shoot with Adam kazmierski. He is amazing and has done our fam photos since will was 3 months old. now...he's four! enjoy some of the highlights so far...can't wait to get the whole shoot!! adam, what would we do without you!?!?

Weekend away...

2009-11-22T13:15:00.000-08:00

The pool we floated in....and right next to that by the umbrella is the bar where we ate all weekend!!!

MMM....Hot cocoa!

11 years of marriage! Thanks Molly and Matt for giving us a weekend away to celebrate!

MMMM....Coffee!!

For the past few months, we had given pre-marital counseling to this awesome couple, Molly and Matt Lewis. As part of a gift to us, they gave us a weekend away!!! So, last weekend, Ry and I went away!! We went to Palm Springs. It was so great to get away. We didn't bump into anyone we knew...he took me out to dinner as a suprise to Thai food (i was craving Renu Nakorn, the BEST Thai food I know...this place wasn't half bad, a great runner up!) and then we just slept, swam, ate and enjoyed our time away. In light of so much going on in our life with adjusting and working on paying off things and living differently we never expected to have the chance to get away. Molly and Matt-THANK YOU! it was a gift!!!!!!! We had such a great weekend away (then came home and celebrated my sisters engagement! such a great weekend!) and feel rested and connected again.

We have much to be thankful for...God's provision in giving us a weekend away was awesome. Thanks!!!

Engaged!!!!

2009-11-22T13:10:00.000-08:00

Em jumping up into "Zia's" arm to celebrate with her

Mom and Marisa

The beautiful ring! It's a gold band with filigree all around and this whole row of awesome diamonds. Perfect!! Just perfect!! very antique-y!!!

My lovely sister, Marisa and her awesome man, Daniel...are now...(finally!) ENGAGED!!! (sorry, forgot to get a photo of him! I was so excited I sort of forgot him....boo!)
He took her to the Magic Castle for brunch last Sunday and during one of the magic shows, the magician did a trick that made the ring box appear and Daniel got on his knee and proposed!! Thatta Boy!! Well done!!

I could not love him more and am so happy for my sister....i'm very much trying NOT to meddle...not asking what she is thinking...invitation...date...flowers....sigh....i'm doing well i think! i've not called her all week to bug and ask!!

Love you both lovely ones!! YEAH!!!

sigh...

2009-11-19T17:01:00.000-08:00

the after shots of his hair post ryan fixing it.

Before the hair cut...can you see on the left and right the chunks taken out? it was way more noticable in person.

sigh...

william came out of his rest time today and he had discovered scissors...to his hair! i can't believe that one of my kids finally did this (as so many of friend's kids have already cut their own hair!) i thought i had maybe escaped this delight....NOPE! and family photos are this Sunday!!! boo.... my little man and his long floppy hair is gone. GONE!! i'm sort of mad and grieving right now at the loss of his rock star hair....sigh...sad day...but it was funny! he was so proud of himself and actually ran out of his bedroom to the couch to show me his handiwork. "mom, look! i cut my hair!" it was hard to be mad at the time. but now, as i'm watching him sing around the house and jump around in his new hair-do (care of ryan!), i'm sad ; ( eventful day at our house for sure!

Hard

2009-11-05T06:58:00.000-08:00

It has been a hard few days. Life has been fine. But hard in the fact of my whole no shopping, no spending that is not for food or cleaning. It isn't that I really want a bunch of things, but my mind just really goes into a spin of when I do want something, what can I do to get it? Confessing it and getting it out in the open also diminishes a lot of the pull that the desire has. Here is where my thoughts went...

I think it began because we had to take our car into the shop and found out about all these repairs that are in need...new transmission, leak in the coolant/radiator...among other things. I just wanted to sell both cars and get a new one. That wont solve any problems. We would still need to fix both cars to sell and can't take on a car payment...Lord, help me to be content with the cars we have. They are both paid for (although not after the repairs, but still...), they both fit our family...they may not be the most shiny and new cars out there (which again, is hard-that sin of comparison looking at others and what they have and desiring to have that too), but they work and they are a gift. Please provide a way for our car to be fixed and running well.

It's hard to admit when things are hard. I see a lot of blogs out there that are all shiny and pretty and don't really talk about what is hard in life. I'm sure there are blogs out there that do...but it's been hard for me to be honest about where I am at in the past and I so want to break that habit in me...so here I post...it's been hard.

It'd also be nice to have a date with Ryan when we go have fun and don't talk about what is going on and just go have fun!!...no serious talks...no working things out (although, our talks even when they are hard are still amazing...Lord thank you for the husband you gave me who doesn't explode when I open up...who listens and responds calmly...) just some good fun. mini golfing or having my dad sign us into disneyland or something...we need cheap or free fun, any suggestions?

Thank you for listening to the process...I have wanted to bring the other blog of entries about my no shopping process over here but haven't had the chance. If you want to check it out, it's at www.conversantlife.com/alyssalow. I think i'll blog here about it. There was a sense that since it was over there at another site that it was not apart of our life in general, when that is so not the case. I have comparmentalized my life for so long, even here in blogging I sort of hid it over there really not knowing of others were reading it or not. I want to show the shiny happy things that happen in our life-they are a blessing! But i also want to not hide the real stuff that we walk through too...It's life. Life isn't always easy, it can be so hard at times. But the hard times cause me to lean more into Christ and the community He has given me...and this medium of processing and journaling is another place where it is helpful as well.

Blessings on the rest of your week. feel free to comment
aly

Shabby Apple Dare to Design Lawn Frock GIVEAWAY!!!!

2009-11-05T06:56:00.000-08:00

Shabby Apple Dare to Design Lawn Frock GIVEAWAY!!!!

breakfast club

2009-10-31T21:30:00.000-07:00

i've been so blessed lately with the Lord giving me some real amazing friends...we created this awesome group called the breakfast club (b/c we LOVE the movie, there are 5 of us, and we're all kids of the 80s!) i think the Lord has brought them into my life at just the right time, especially in light of all that I am going through with learning how to not shop, all the things behind my hiding and how that has effected my life. i'm so thankful for them. i know that i have not shared all the depths of my soul...but isn't that what the journey is for? isn't that what life is for? time...friendship deepening and growing? i know that i have so much more to say and i know that it is so hard for me to always share...but i'm so thankful for these women who hang out, stick in there with me and love me as i share my heart, or listen to their heart. they are a gift and i love them.
michele, chrissie, julie (audrey too!) and gina (even though you we not able to make to today), i really love spending time with you and am so glad the Lord has given you to me at this time in my life. I hope i can be as much a blessing to you as you are to me.

outside the box

2009-10-30T09:03:00.000-07:00

so...i don't know if any folks are checking out my other blog (which i think this weekend i'll just move to this one...in an effort to simplify my life) about not shopping...but i'm constantly amazed that most of the time, i've not really missed shopping (for clothes, shoes, jewelry, frames, etc..). i just wish i had a few more white t-shirts...because this blog (http://mymamamadeit.blogspot.com/) is A.MAZ.ING! she and i would be soul mates. at least in regards to all things JCrew and Anthropologie. She looks at the catalogues and takes their ideas and re-creates them in clothes that she already has. She's my hero right now in my no shopping experiment life. it's giving me new ideas and new life for old things. hopefully this weekend i'll have some time to work on some fun ideas i got off her blog and that the clothing exchange night i have planned with friends (where we all bring clothes that we don't wear any longer but that are in good condition, we exchange) will provide some more fun items for me to take and re-create!

i've become such an outside of the box thinker in regards to all things in our life...food and food prep...clothing for our family...cleaning supplies...all in an effort to stick within our budget...and praise the Lord-we are doing okay.

if only our transmission and coolant in our accord would hop on board and not be broken : ( i wish i could think outside of the box on that one!

how are you thinking outside the box? they say the recession is over...but how can we continue to be good stewards of what we have in plenty and in want? i know that this season in our life and taught me more than i thought...but i don't think i'd ever change where we are at right now. i wish the debt was gone, but i also know that the Lord has used this to re-orient our minds and marriage to think about each purchase, down to the soap we use. do we need this? do we already have this at home? can we share, give, exchange or borrow to fulfill a need we have?

as always, thanks for listening to my processing...please comment and let me know how you are thinking outside the box...and i'll show you the jewelry and shirts i re-create hopefully sometime next week...i'm going to take advantage of my evenings and instead of watching lame TV shows (except the office and 30 rock!) i'm going to sew and make things...i'll let you know how it goes!

A.MAZ.ING

2009-10-29T19:51:00.000-07:00

Okay...a kind gentleman in one of my 709 classes mentioned that he loved Chicago style pizza. I quickly said, "Ryan LOVES that...someplace called Gioda...Gierido...something like that" He quickly said, "oh yeah...that place is epic. I found a place out here....you gotta try it!"

long story short...this said pizza place is none other than Tony's Little Italy on the corner of Bastenchury and Placentia...across the street from our elementary school and down the street from my in laws house!! this deep dish pizza was EPIC! perfection! the perfect consolation for our car breaking down (yeah...our accord finally lost it's transmission and also has a crack in the radiator or coolant crack or something....Lord-please provide!)

So...I swept my hubby and kiddos into the car and with $22 in my pocket, we got a medium deep dish pizza with cheese, pep and pinapple. i brought two apple juice boxes, a bag of carrots to split for the kids (just so in my mind, they somehow get a more rounded meal) and ry and i split a coke and spent $22 (including tip!) yahoo!!

www.tonyslittleitaly.com

1808 N Placentia Ave
Placentia, CA 92870-2300
(714) 528-2159

GO!

fixin...

2009-10-26T22:25:00.001-07:00

so...thought i'd change up the blog a bit...give it an autumn feel...i just wish the weather was following as well!!

i'm soo behind on uploading photos...sorry fam and friends. here are some from the weekend get away to our annual fall family festival with the Stumps and Daus...it was sooo fun! the blog design is actually inspired by my friend michele who LOVES owls : )

how are you celebrating fall?

katrina and her pumpkin

this amazingly talented (and sort of awkward) family who sings old barn-ish kind of music

lunch at the barn

three of the five girls that we now have in our group!! (note the skirts, i made them for all the girls...it's a scarecrow fabric (thanks heath!) and some other coordinating fabric from the hoopers...i made 5 skirts for FREE! to celebrate fall. what else was i going to do with a couple yards of cute scarecrow fabric??!

i LOVE that will is wearing ry's hat and his hand is just on his chin...i love my two men!

the girls posing in front of an old mirror...

dunno what she's smiling about as i captured this...maybe just the fact that she was with her bff's all weekend? ah...i love emmy's smile!!

bedtime storytime before the sleepovers begin...thankfully all kids were tuckered out and fell asleep FAST both nights...thank you GOD!

Tree climbing...

Arts and crafts...

Corn maze on the first day we got there...we all did it, i just thought the photo of will and ry was cute. they made it all the way through

could ellie BE any cuter?

oh man...these ladies are going to break some hearts someday!!

it's been a while....

2009-10-08T11:00:00.000-07:00

How we felt upon dropping off both kids to school....Ry:Stoked, Aly: Sad....

Grandma Linda and Will in his classroom on his first day of school

Ms. Monica and Will (monica is his preschool teacher....A.MA.ZING lady!)

Em at her desk starting her first day of kindergarten!!

Could this backpack BE any bigger??!!

sorry!! it's been a while...like a month-ish!! here is an update in brief with photos:
Em started full day kindergarten...big deal!! I think we are still adjusting to that schedule. She is learning SOOO much! I'm so proud of her....

William started preschool and turned 4!!!...in fact I need to pick him up in about 20m! HE LOVES it! I LOVE seeing him bounce off to see his friends with his backpack on. They are all such fans of each other (all his little buddies!) I just love it. He is such is own person and I love seeing that come out more and more.

I am teaching at Talbot this fall. I have four groups of classes facilitating mentorship. It's challenging and fulfilling all in the same vein. and oh...i turned 35!

Ry is just working here at Biola right now for the moment. I say that because he had two jobs for a bit, but we left that job to free up more time for us to find what is next, but we just don't know if we can live on his salary alone (I barely make anything and i have no clue what i'm going to have in terms of classes next semester, so we can't totally depend on me quite yet, someday soon i hope!) so we are praying and considering him getting another job...we'll see and keep you posted.

we'd appreciate your prayers...it has been quite a few months, especially this month. as we face some rough waters, we are ever reminded that a surrendered life in Christ is not always the easiest road, but the road we must take towards being transformed into his likeness. if you want a more indepth look at our journey/my journey....check out:
http://www.conversantlife.com/alyssalow

until next post...
aly for the lows

Cherry Blossom Designs Hair Accessories GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

2009-09-12T14:58:00.000-07:00

Cherry Blossom Designs Hair Accessories GUEST GIVEAWAY!!!!

separate?

2009-08-17T16:11:00.000-07:00

so...the last post was about my leading to not shop for a semester or maybe a year. i thought about starting another (yes, that is right, another) blog about this process since this blog is primarily for our family (and dear friend) who may or may not be connected to facebook to catch up on us, our family photos, family anticdotes (sp?) and the ever evolving 'fit back into my pants' (hee ehee hee)

so...i started another blog. if you want to follow it...i'm going to journal about my process about not shopping, what i'm struggling with, my triumphs, my frustrations...anything and everything about this whole experiment. something that has been part of this whole journey for me is hiding. i've hidden my struggles from friends and family and this blog is really bringing another layer of accountability...it's hard hard hard to admit this...and hard to give out the blog because it's another layer of lifing the hiding...i'm asking for comments, respones...and mostly prayer.

http://www.conversantlife.com/alyssalow

also...if you have friends or yourself...that you are struggling with shopping or hiding....please feel free to direct them to my blog.

we'll continue to use this blog for family updates and stuff...but direct yourself to the above blog for my journalling/blogging about this experiment.

am i crazy?

2009-08-13T14:12:00.001-07:00

okay...i think i'm crazy...but i might actually be able to pull it off...here is my though process...

so, ryan is no longer working at our church in an effort to slow down and have time (& not work two jobs) to search for what is next for us. i'm sooo thankful that the Lord has really freed up his schedule (and mine!) to pray, rest, read and consider what is next.

with his job income now not coming in, our budget is as tight as ever. i have been soooo inspired by all of these blogs that i've been finding that show how to tutorials on repurposing outfits, shirts, sweaters, etc...into new clothing. if you don't know this already, i LOVE to shop. i've also been really challenged lately with this questions, "do i really need more? am i filling shopping with a need that needs to be filled with the Lord of Love?" i would even go so far to say that i have an addiction (which is hard for me to admit and be that open...but there is grace when we open our hearts to truth and stop hiding). so...what would it look like for me to stop shopping?

WHAT?!

yes, you read me right...this idea came to me a day or two ago. i'm seeing how pervasive my desire to shop has become as i see my children looking for things and saying when they see a commercial, "oh mom, i WISH i could have THAT." oh brother!!! i'm challenged with the fact that christmas is going to come up and even though we won't be able to purchase a lot of presents, what is it really about????!!! it's not about emily or william having equal amount of presents under the tree. it's about learning how to give to one another as God gave his Son to us as the ultimate gift. how can we give Jesus a christmas/birthday present and begin to instill in em and will a totally counter cultural mindset? this idea has also been confirmed to me by Ryan who was reading this book (unleashing courageous faith or tangible kingdom, can't recall!) and it challenged him on his idea of christmas and consumerism.

i think because i do struggle with wanting to shop and desiring things...what would it look like, when i feel that urge, to pause and discipline myself towards the Lord and dialoging with him about my interior struggle? what would it look like to use my awesome graduation present and scratch my never ending creative itch and take on some of these tutorials on sewing? i have stacks of clothes i never wear anymore and that is all free fabric!! i could tear it apart and have at it!! what would it look like to em and will for us to slow down, consider purchases (because we have no other choice at this stage in our life) together as a family, and also consider christmas and how we can contribute to world vision and buy a cow or school supplies for another in the name of Jesus's birth?

so...along with chronicling our adventurous life...i'll also chronicle my adventures of attempting to not clothing or shoe or purse shop. i have to buy groceries, i have to buy household items... but ... we don't need furniture (in fact, we are selling a TON if you are in need of furniture, i'm clearning out our storage unit. if we are not using now, we don't need it! lemme know if you are looking for anything specific, i'll see if i have it!), i certainly do not need clothing...sigh...i think with the Lord's help, i can do it! let's take it a semsester at a time and see how we do.

do clothing repurposing swap nights count as shopping??! hopefully not!

phew...sigh...let's go!

Brave...

2009-08-08T07:51:00.000-07:00

So...I need to brave... (this is a novel...be for warned!)

I'm starting a business. Upon graduation, I began to think about how I can use my degree while also being a mom. My particular niche allows me to work around the kids school schedule, which is unreal to me-that we can still have me home as well as work a bit. But...actually admitting that I am going to do this little dream that is in my mind, that I could actually get paid for it, causes me to just look back on prayers of mine and say, "wow, Lord-really!??"

However, I actually need to start telling people about it, which is where the brave part comes in. What if I launch this and no one calls...no one refers...well...that is the risk, right?

www.water4thesoul.blogspot.com...
water4thesoul@gmail.com

this will continue to be the family blog, the above will be the job blog...i figure i'll start with a blog and if it by any chance ever gets larger that a blog, i can create a website.

i'm very much open to comments and suggestions. please direct them to my gmail account above.

phew...i did it. i shared my other blog! seriously, this is a bit scary for me! but...yesterday while the kids were at VBS i had some amazing mtgs that really confirmed this is what I am to do. I have to share a bit of it b/c it seriously was only the Lord who could have coordinated this!

I went into supervision (this is what I attend once a month while I am meeting with clients to look at sessions and if there was any advice i needed, anything that came up that i was unable to handle, questions...just a place to be accountable to...i LOVE supervision!) and shared a bit of what my dream is to do (pastoral counseling and spiritual direction-SD/PC) and she challeneged me to do it, to put myself out there and to see what happens. While we prayed about it, we both thought about me speaking to my former professor and good friend to see what she thought since she was the one who taught all my SD and PC classes. So I walked out of the office and I saw her car!! I sort of freaked out, so I drove off!! I prayed in the car, "okay Lord, if you want me to speak to her, she'll be there when I get back." (ever pray one of those prayers?!)

so, I actually drove to a building near by that I was looking at-sort of dreaming, "what if i got enough clients to have an actual space with and office? what if a group of us started a practice and we shared the space?" I walked in and got some info which was amazing and sooo helpful! there is actually a space that is near the 22/405/605 fwys and if a group of us went in on it, we could all have an office space with two offices, a waiting room and a bathroom. i have NO idea pricing (it was about 1,000 a month-is this good?) and am not signing a lease anytime soon, just went to investigate.

so...i got back in my car, drove back to campus and my professor was still there! okay God, i'll go talk to her!

We spoke and she totally backed the ideas and said a class or two that i would benefit from for further depth and continued education. it was such a huge green light for me...it helped me to be brave to post this!! she even offered a reference should i create a flyer and a pastor in the area to speak to about helping them launch this very idea in their church!! yahoo!!

so...check it out!! www.water4thesoul.blogspot.com. let me know what you think. i plan to post some more thoughts and ideas soon...but at least the basics are up and running...

here we go, Lord. let's see what will happen!! (thanks, friends for letting me process! gimme feedback!)
aly

facade...

2009-08-06T15:40:00.000-07:00

As I have be grazing over all these blogs on sewing, homemaking, decorating....i have this huge rush in my stomach as if it is saying, "okay...get to it, get making, cooking, decorating...catch up...show 'em that you are creative...post it..." etc...etc...and it occurred to me...is this sort of a facade? do we show the true us on these blogs? would you read it if i did?

in an effort to not glamorize our life...i want to be honest and not just have this blog out there (to whomever in the world is reading it) showing the world how glossy and pretty we are. Even though it may look like all is fine the world of the Lows, there are times and days that are trying and difficult and test my faith. i don't want to come across as someone who has their life together through this blog...because i/we don't. i must and need desperately to lean into the Love that pursues me each and every day-that is the love of the Lord. that pursuit is transforming me into His image...but that transformation comes at a cost, doesn't it?

does anyone else feel like that? i think that rush to my stomach of all the things that i should be accomplishing is something that can also turn me towards Love...towards opening in that moment to the Lord and saying to him, "really...do you really want me to live that way? how then would you have me respond dear Lord? "

so...now i look to sewing as a spiritual discipline...follow me here...

i love to shop. too much. it is something that i struggle with and am really trying to seek out the roots of what it is that i need to fill by shopping...so in an effort to not shop but to still provide for our family...i now am learning to sew. so i look at this blog (http://mymamamadeit.blogspot.com/) and it shows how to repurpose your children's old shirts into new shirts/dresses etc...i LOVE that. i have some scraps of fabric...i take the shirt and as i (tonight) go to the sewing machine...i can talk with the Lord about it, however cheesy this may sound, it helps me to see that he has provided for us. he has given me this shirt that can be repurposed into another outfit, maybe two...that he has created me to be creative and that creative energy that tells me, "get going...decorate, sew, clean!" is now channeled into a time of devotion and worship while i'm sewing with free items that the Lord has given to us.

does this make sense to you at all?

this is all in a daily effort to look towards the Lord and not towards the things on earth that call to me, "you need this to make your life prettier, better..." lord, my desire is to follow you. please walk with me as i struggle and as i succeed...may i always be open to you.

thanks for processing with me... : )

NEW place to eat...

2009-08-06T15:20:00.000-07:00

If you know me well...you know i LOVE breakfast food...and especially at quant little privately owned places (although if you want to take me to breakfast, i'll go wherever!)

here is my new favorite place...Rialto Cafe. http://rialtocafefullerton.com/

do not walk...RUN to go there. 8:30am i think they open...
the coffee comes in these great anthropologie-esque ceramic mugs. i swear it makes the coffee taste better!

i ate there two times this week...both dishes were awesome. it's pricey-but the portions (especially the pancakes) are totally splitable as well as the kids portions and as far as i can tell, there is no split charge-just a charge on substitutions.

they only let you split the check two ways

the decor is darling and inspirational...

i got the wheat pancakes with their homemade granola in it (brown sugar bits of oats and cranberries...delish!) drizzled with maple syrup...$9. you get two pancakes...that basically cover the WHOLE plate. i got a to-go box right away and put 1/2 in it just so i could put the syrup on them without it dripping all over the table.

the next day i got the rialto rancheros. Ammmmmaaazzzzing. the bruschetta topping on the eggs is toDIE for.

the water is complimentary (upon request) and tastes like you are in a day spa! it has a cucumber/melon aftertaste to it. sooo refreshing on these warm days.

RYAN...TAKE me here for my birthday!!! (hint hint wink wink!)

inspiration

2009-08-06T15:08:00.000-07:00

so...recently, i've been sewing and searching out new ideas for sewing...i think i've created a monster!! soooo...this blog world that is out there is pretty overwhelming me with the ideas of some majorly creative people and then at the same time it's like, "ohhh...there are others out there like me who look at things and try to figure out how to repurpose and reuse things!"

so...http://mymamamadeit.blogspot.com/ is like my new blog of the day on repurposing your kids outfits....check out:
http://mymamamadeit.blogspot.com/search/label/children%27s%20clothing%20refahioning%20children%27s%20tutorial

so...guess what i'll be doing tonight!! SYTYCD finale (GO JEANINE!!) and sewing new clothes for em for school out of old shirts!!!! am i a nerd? didn't we all used to go out and party late into the night and now that we are married with kids and old, did i ever think i'd be home doing this? i'm sooo glad i am though. THANK YOU AGAIN ed and linda for my sewing machine...THANK YOU!

oh...and a shot out to http://www.leeloublogs.blogspot.com/ for the new free template for my blog. it's a bit busy but i LOVE the colors, so summery!! i'll have to adjust the photos and stuff, but i needed to redo this blog, it needed a face lift...

what are your inspirations for today?
p.s. the photos are of the clothes i just made for emily...my very first shirt and skirt for her!! i just made another skirt (with MAJOR assistance from my dear aunt LeAnne and my mom in law the lovely Linda. ) i'll photog that one and show it to you. i got the pattern from somewhere online...i can't recall, sorry! if you want it, i'll find it and send you the link

peace

2009-07-29T22:46:00.001-07:00

sorry we've been so silent. we have had such a busy few weeks that have also been a roller coaster. i'll post photos soon of our lovely fun and whirlwind time with our dear dear aunt leanne...but for now, just wanted to share the latest on the job hunt...

so...when i say whirlwind, i really mean it. this past month we spoke with a church in the area about their vacant senior pastor position. it is a church that is also in our denomination. our pastor with whom ryan is super close and just finished serving under (ry is no longer the worship director at wilshire ave as of the last sunday in june...such an amazing 5 years and such a great transition out of employed ministry at wilshire) suggested to this churches search committee that they should look at ryan as a potential candidate. and so they did.

ry spoke with them on the phone a few times, sent off the application, answered their questions, they came and heard him preach (he ROCKED it in my biased opinion!) and then we visted their church twice. ryan then went through two pretty long and gruling interviews with the denomination as well as an interview with the churches pastoral search committee. i was there with him during his 2 1/2 hour interview. i personally wouldn't have known how to answer 1/2 of the questions they presented to him-i am so proud of his poise, thoughtful responses and patience with the committee as they asked question after question of him.

after all of this and some really great exchanges with folks from the committee, they came to the conclusion that upon review of his interview, application and experience that they were going to continue their search elsewhere and thanked us for our time.

i have to say, that was a kick to the gut at first. this all happened in a span of a month. how could they not want ryan?? are they nuts?!?!? however...upon calming down and pausing, we both feel such a great peace about this. the one thing that seemed sooo great about this church is that it was familiar. we knew the culture of this church b/c we grew up in simular environments and it was geographically close to our families. however, the Lord is soooo good. truly. i say that without any cheese or fakeness. he is. there was a lot about the church that we were unsure of, but willing to continue on in the process should we be called. it is also days away from the craziest month in ry's job...august. the RAs come back, training begins, students move in and the semester begins all over again...and to be candidating at a church, and possibly even moving is not how we wanted to finish our time at biola. biola has been and continues to be a gift to us in ways we can never describe and to just up an leave would be dishonoring to them. really, there is such a peace. our Lord is so much bigger than our expectations or assumptions. there is so much we really want to do in ministry that sometimes it is scary to think that what if what we want to do doesn't exist? how will be get by? being in the 'box' of a church is easy in that you consistently get paid, there are benefits, you sort of know the rythmn of things...but i am learning to trust in more than the box...and it's hard...but there is peace and grace (thank you LORD!) in the process of learning...

for now, we stay at biola. we greet our new RAs next week and greet the new semester with our 9th (yes, you counted and read correctly, NINETH!) staff...

so...thanks for reading the update...for allowing me to still process as i type this out...i hope it makes sense, i'm too tired to proofread and spell check (sorry!). so, we are still in the process of looking and praying for what is next...thank you for being family and joining us in prayer with us.

i'll post new photos of the kids (em lost another tooth! she is missing her two bottom ones!) and our time with family last week soon (we miss you leann!!!). in the meantime...i am truly thankful for the peace i feel in not being asked to continue on to candidate and we look for what is next.

much love to you and yours...

We have a big girl

2009-07-13T09:50:00.000-07:00

Emily lost her first tooth today...she ran into the bedroom at 7:30am, jumped up to wake me up with tooth in hand "look mom! i just poked my tongue through my tooth and it popped out onto my pillow!" sooooo amazing and so cute. Sigh...she's so big now!

Esther and David

2009-07-13T08:51:00.000-07:00

Me, Jenny and Esther-we've been friends since Ry and I moved here to Biola-2001. I love those two women so much and we have so much fun together...Esther, i'm so thrilled for you and David!!

Such a fun to day celebrate my dear friend, Esther. Since I had been sick all week, I just kept praying i'd feel well enough to sit at the wedding, and I did!! Jenny-can you believe she is married?!?!?!? Our Esther??!?!?! He is just the perfect fit for her...I love seeing how the Lord puts people together and I look sooooo forward to their journey ahead...love you all!

Update..

2009-07-10T22:42:00.000-07:00

Ah...Utah..the virgin river where it begins...Ry climbed / hiked over to it

Part of the hike to the river

don't they look so small? they were so cute..."ooohhh..mom...it's sooo beautiful"

the fish ry, anthony and marty caught...later gutted and bbqed...not bad!!

outside at the playground where we were staying...em would later successfully make it across the monkey bars for the first time ever! such a big girl now!!

em enjoying the hike

cedar breaks-way more beautiful than this photo captures!!

Cousins hiking with their fearless leader

Twins!

William LOVING the pool. that boy cried every night we said, "time to get out"

ah...finally...sitting and giving you an update...

1) i've been sick for a week. i think my body decided it was done with grad school, done with parties, done with our family road trip to utah (photos forthcoming) and so it finally gave out. literally. i couldn't sit up without feeling faint for a good 4-5 days. i finally got better enough to drive myself to a dear friend's wedding. (yeah esther and david!!!)
2) OFBIMP has been curbed for me for this past week and possibly next week as i recoop i had strep throat and an ear infection. how did that happen???!?! needless to say, i was quarentined and now am better (thank you amoxicillian!) ry will more than likely post an ever witty post about his chronicled progress...i'm so proud of him for his continued pursuit towards his pants fitting better, but more importantly-i'm so very thankful that he is taking his health seriously and making efforts to live well. i'm so proud! i'm proud of us!

now...this does go without saying...we still don't eat great when we go out-but at home we are making such great strides and besides the occassional coke for ryan (this is his drug of choice!) there is much to celebrate by way of lifestyle changes. slow going-but changes occuring nonetheless.

3) we are back from Utah! we made it! we survived! we (my sis in law, her hubbie, their three kids and us four...yes...9...together in a tiny condo in utah's brianhead...) all cooked, cleaned, fished, hiked, ate, played for 5 days together...it was so much fun! i didn't grow up with young cousins...mine were all older, so this had to have been such a blast for the babes. they all seemed to have such a great time! it was worth it and the road trip was not that bad at all! AND...i worked a deal and got a KILLER amazing VW routan (their version of a minivan) for the week. needless to say, i'm tryingt to be content with our sturdy tried and true accord...but man, i LOVED having a minivan. LOVED. ... .... LOVED. ; ) someday...but do we really need all that space and low gas mileage for a fam of four? someday soon we will have to get a new car (both our beloved hondas are about 180k and 145k respectively...keep on truckin' guys!!!) and when we do, i hope there is a biodiesel/hybrid/solar minivan! otherwise, i might just have to settle for something else!!

okay...enough rambling...i'll post some photos of our expeditions!!
p.s. I GOT MY SEWING MACHINE!! i LOVE it! i made em an shirt and it fits and is super cute!! i didn't take photos, sorry! and i have skirt in the works that matches it as well...but i've been sick...maybe tomorrow i can work on that-ah...that'd be soo much fun! !!! THANK YOU ED and linda for my machine! THANK YOU!! yeah!!! soon i'll take photos of my machine and i'll learn how to monogram!! okay...enough!!

hope you are all well! love you!
the lows

Operation FBIMP update!!

2009-06-18T16:08:00.000-07:00

Well we are nearing the end of four weeks in the operation. Do I fit in my pants yet? I have been asked that question. The answer is: "yes and no". What does that mean? just what it says bucko! I do fit better in my pants. But they are not swimming on me as I have hoped they would by this point. This has been a battle and test of wills and yet, for some strange reason, I am still finding that my belly is lapping over my belt....but not as much as before. That is a moral victory I suppose. Here's the big thing though: today I played tennis for four hours. This is not an exaggeration. I really played Tennis all morning! We went to Chik-Fil-a for lunch and I went into the bathroom and placed my head under their automatic faucet. Then I walked out with my dripping head and some lady who looked an awful lot like Kate from jon and kate plus 8, looked at me strange. I think it was because I was this big oafy sweaty guy with a beet red face sitting at the next table and I was dripping wet. I did it. Four hours of tennis? Four weeks ago, this was not possible. I probably would have dropped in sheer fatigue and you bet I am tired right now, but it just felt good to know that I could do it...I could hang in there and make it!

so operation FBIMP has been somewhat of a success as far as shrinking by belly so I'll fit back into my pants, but I have more stamina now. I also think my posture is better. And my pecs are awesome right now!!!!

Emily turns 5!!

2009-06-17T14:36:00.000-07:00

Emily's Fifth birthday!!

Last weekend we had Emily's fifth birthday party...it was awesome!! It was a warrior princess theme...She LOVES anything to do with dressing up (just check out other posts from her blankie dresses!!) and she also LOVES karate, and this ninja warrior show we all watch where they do obstacles to become the next ninja warrior. So, we had the bright idea of creating an obstacle course in our 'backyard' (the hart hall courtyard) and having each kid go through it. Then Ry wrote a story for the kids to interact through...here is the story with photos from the kids doing each activity...enjoy!

Ryan reading the story to the kids (story begins below this photo)

Franklin is the most curious dragon you would ever meet and this has caused its fair share of problems. He always wants to know what’s out there. He always wants to find buried treasure. If you were to tell Franklin you saw a red tree, he would want to see the tree to see how red it is. If you told him your juice was sweet like honey, he would want to taste your juice to see if it really did…taste like Honey. Yes Franklin wanted to see places, do things and he always had questions…He was indeed a very curious dragon.

One day Franklin’s mother told him he needed to stay home while she went to the blue berry meadow to find them berries for their pie she was going to make. Franklin said “Yes mommy” but as soon as she left he pulled out an old map that his friend Bartholomew the dragon gave him (bartholomew is a dragon from another story adventure Ryan wrote for the kids, "The adventures of Ellie Mae and Daley aka emily and dave (will's middle name) ellie mae and daley is a play on their names). On this map was the directions to the secret hideout of yockopo the pirate, and everyone knows that yockopo was famous for finding the lost candy caverns…. Franklin wanted to see if he could find this lost Yockopo the pirate and find the buried treasure. Franklin gathered a tshirt, his pillow, a bottle of water and put them in his white backpack. He put his backpack on and set off on his journey, he left a note for his mom it said: “mom, I went to find Yockopo the famous pirate and to see if he’ll tell me where his famous buried treasure is… Franklin was a little ways from the house when he discovered he forgot the map but he didn’t mind because he remembered it very well.

When Franklin’s mother came home she found the map that Franklin forgot and now you are here and she needs your help to find her poor son and bring him home. Will you help her????

Yea!!!!! (the kids all screamed!)

the map leads over the ocean and we need to get on some boats to follow franklin. Here is the note Franklin left for his mom:

here is the map ry made to show the kids where there adventure would take them:

Here is the adventure:

Now, they need to take the boat through the stormy seas to the bubble forest, then go through the murkey swap which will take them to the pirate yochopo's hideout (aka the bounce house)

we had AWESOME parent involvment...thank you dads and moms (and mel!) for rockin' the sheets to create a stormy sea!

Sweet Haley and my nieces using their swords ($1 at the dollar tree! yeah for 40 swords and gifts for all so they truly could be warrior princes and princesses!)

The bubble forest...
(awesome photography provided by Charity Glaeser!!)

Slay those bubbles!!

Ryan reading the story to the kids on what to do next)

Emily beginning the murky swamp obstacle

Sophia climbing over the swamp to the next challenge (we used benches from our home and climbing rope, sheets and play sponge squares to make our course)

Here is a view of the course...stay on the squares or you'll get all murky muddy from the swamp, go under the tunnel, over the swamp, turn and go under the tunnel again...

Lucy climbing under the tunnel to then go around and climb onto of it to get to the climbing rope which leads them to the pirate's secret hideout...luc, you are super concentrating on your mission..way to go warrior!

my niece Alicia

using the rope to guide them through the swamp (we rolled up old picnic blankets to use as a balance beam in the swap)

Yeah! They made it to the pirate's secret hideout! Now, you need to dance to show you are trustworthy to be in his hideout...

Ah...our son...dancing to the pirate's favorite song 'jungle boogie!'

Sigh...it was a lot of work, but Emily loved every moment of it, and isn't that worth it??! They never knew that the obstacle course only cost $40 in swords and we could even have done without the bounce house (which, btw...the company is AWESOME! use them!!) We ended the time with cake and presents...phew...what a day! THANK YOU parents, friends, family, Ryan, Charity, Mel...we could NOT have done this day without your help

Emily Blowing out her candles with all her friends surrounding her

me and my five year old...my lu lu lamb is no longer my little lamb...i need a new nickname for her, she'll kill me for calling her that in public one day!

before the guests arrived, emmy and will testing out the bounce house

set back...

2009-06-11T21:00:00.000-07:00

Hey all!!

So...aly here...there is a set back to my "FBIMP"...i hurt my back doing situps...my tummy is so out of shape that i hurt my back. I am still getting up and walking and stretching in the morning and hopefully when Monday rolls around, i can do arms and lunges...sigh...the body is getting old folks and it is high time to take care of it...i'm soooo sore!!! BUT i woke up every morning at 6:15 to meet my girl charity at the gym at 6:30...i've woken up to be there...now we just need to care for my back...

sarah-sweet comment/post, thanks for the encouragement and i'm sure i'll be contacting you at some points for tips and further pep talks!!

on another note...emily's fifth birthday party is this weekend...can't wait! it's a princess warrior theme. she LOVES all things princess, and LOVES all things kung-fu or obstacle course-y...so we tried to incorporate them both...and it also allows us to include boys in her party fun, so we'll talk lots of photos and post them next week!

now..off to write all those thank you note for all the thoughtful graduation notes and gifts y'all got me! i hope to get my sewing machine in the next few weeks...we are planning our family vacation to cedar breaks utah to explore some great national parks (all i've ever been to is yosemite!) and heating and stretching my back so it heals!! oh...and for those who gave me money for graduation, THANK YOU so much...i'm stock piling it so it can go towards a nikon 40 dslr camera... : )

have a great weekend! what will you all be doing?

Operation "Fit back into my pants" day 6

2009-06-06T10:04:00.000-07:00

we both worked out yesterday. today is saturday. we are going to a wedding in the hill country of san diego. Both Alyssa and I struggled to physically raise our bodies out of bed. Very sore. i did a leg centered weight workout. my hamstrings basically feel like to large pieces of ham. gotta get through this!!!! gonna fit back into my pants.

Next week we make some adjustments with diet. aly and i need to strategically create a plan/menu for the diet and then shop right. Rock steady FBIMPers!

Operation "Fit back into my pants"

2009-06-05T09:48:00.000-07:00

Ryan here!
Aly showed me how to blog so here we go...my first post.
Just recently Aly and I have begun a new journey in our lives. It is called: "Operation Fit Back Into My pants". Why did we begin this new journey? Very simply, our motivation for this change in our lives derives from two factors: A. our pants don't fit right and B. we are too cheap to buy new pants.
Oh Ryan, c'mon on, your pants fit fine. they don't look bad at all.
Thank you for thinking this, but it is not the aesthetic appearance of our pants that concerns us, it's the fact that they hurt, especially when I'm driving. I have recently begun unbuckling my jeans when I drive! How did it come to this?

You know you're in trouble when you are thinking of ways to build a case with your boss that basketball shorts are indeed professional enough to wear to the office.

So yes friends...our pants do not fit right... they are downright uncomfortable and this needs to change.

okay, so why not buy new pants. comfort is important right?

uh...no...wrong! Not spending money is important. Not having to go shopping is important! I did consider getting new pants. I even went to Savers (our local "I take all my crud clothes and give them away and then Savers sells them for two bucks" store) and found a virtual ton of old used jeans and pants that fit my new size. But then I'd have to spend money on them, and NOT spending money is important. I'd have to try them on look at them in the mirror, ask the question: "honey does this make my butt look big, is this too tight on my large calves (thank you father for this inherited trait); and these questions fall into a certain class that qualifies me as SHOPPING. I don't Shop. It is one of the most emotionally and physically draining activities I can engage in.
So........ I didn't buy new pants. And why should I! There are two painful paths here. One is the path of defeat and painful it is (because I have to spend money and go shopping). The other road is the pain of WAR!!! I will wage war against my bulging "Omentum" (medical term for the fat layer that forms under your abdominal section and sends toxins into your blood stream- see "You on a diet"). I will fit back into my pants. I will not give in. My body is too bootylicious for me and it's time to engage in a precisely well oiled mission to fit back into my pants!!!
So we decided we were going to do this. There are several easy directives for this mission:
1. Soda go bye-bye.
this is not easy. I drink about 100-150 ounces of straight up Coca Cola a day. Add to that the fact that chocoalte is one of my three main food groups along with burritos, and burgers; and you've got yourself a one way ticket on a big smog belching bus destined for "Adult onset diabetes land". So cola needs to go bye bye.

2. We must eat better.
This is easier said than done. remember when I told you about my three major food groups. yes, none of those fit into the "Eating Better" category. We have chosen the abs diet to help with this. The food is great and i still get to eat fruit. I do like fruit. especially covered in chocolate. but Fruit alone will do.

3. we must exercise.
No, chewing is not enough exercise. I actually have to run, lift weights. Greg Stump and I are going to play tennis twice a week. I will also be going to the beach to swim. Aly is working out with Charity every morning.

So it's been five days and I can honestly say, we've exercised, but the diet is still a work in progress. my hope is that we can get structured and we will leave occasional updates here. the point is to fit in our pants and stay in our pants forever, so we never have to buy clothes again...or go shopping! :0 Hahaha. Alyssa is shaking her head right now..

vacation...

2009-06-02T21:42:00.001-07:00

Hey all!! We are officially on vacation!! After all the celebrations, bbqs...etc...post graduation stuff...we are settled. There is a bit of construction going on in our apartment again this summer, but only for this month of june (thank GOD!) and they put us up in the lido apartments (where students live off campus during the school year) in a two bedroom while the hallway is abated (sp?) for asbestos. they are going to:
1) move our front door in about 8ft creating a little alcove and along the new wall, a fuse box for the new ethernet (yeah better internet for hart!!) as well as
2) a bedroom closet for the kids! they don't have a closet, we made them a closet out of the hallway closet. i'm sooo excited and can't wait to see the plans that were made translated!!

okay...so now we are truly on vacation!! it's soo nice over here at the lido! we had to bring a TON of stuff over, but there are couches, great internet connection, the kids are sleeping on mattresses on the floor, but we set it up sort of like a fort and they are just loving it! we are still super close to campus, so i can make it to my morning workouts with charity!! (third day in a row! yeah! tomorrow she is workin my abs...arms were monday, today was my toosh and legs. oh, i'm sore!!) just soooo thankful to not be living with my in - laws again. i LOVE them, but it was just not our space and we were not near our friends!!

so...another thing about being on vacation, not having any school whatsoever...is that one of the things on my list of things i wanted to do upon graduation...was...to learn how to sew! i picked out a sewing machine today and hopefully, once my in laws approve...that will be my graduation present from them!! that may seem sort of dorky to y'all...but i'm sooooo excited! my daughter, emily, is beyond creative (i'm a bit creative too!) and she makes these dresses out of her blanket. she's amazing! i'd LOVE to learn how to sew with her and we can create all kinds of fun things! so, i talked to her about it and she is just so excited. i might actually take her with me to pick out some fabric with my joann's gift card (thank you HEATHER! your card is forthcoming!!) and make some simple skirts (hey heath...can i get that pattern from you!?) and learn how to make them. the place we are getting the sewing machine from also gives me classes on how to use the thing. brilliant!! i have sooo many ideas and there are so many fun blogs out there on how to sew and what you can repurpose out of something to make it into another something, i can't wait!!

another thing that i'm sooo stoked on besides working out (finally have time!) and sewing is all our other summer plans that seem to be happening! we might go camping next week (have yet to talk to ry about it!) as a family for the first time, i'd LOVE to try to get away for a night or two to just be with ry w/o kids to celebrate being done and i think i might be close with some graduation money-just need a bit more-and i'll be able to get a new camera. sooo excited!!

okay...can you tell i'm excited to have some free time!! i LOVED school, but i'm sooo done!!

i'm sure there is a ton more that needs to be communicated, but i'll sign off for now...no new photos, i forgot my camera at the house and we can't get in till the weeks end. saturday we as a family are going to julian to celebrate heather and luke getting married (i think this is the third or fourth wedding so far this year for us)!! heather is em and will's dear babysitter and our former RA and dear resident. we love them and can't wait to celebrate them!!

okay...signing off...what are you excited about for your summer? any plans, trips, anything?

More graduation photos

2009-05-29T09:42:00.000-07:00

The two brothers I never had...but now do!! Todd (left) and Jeremy (right). I love them so much!! They are in the same program I am (or was!).

My mom and I

The Low/Weatherill Clan

My Ed! (my father in law!)

Ahhh!! The Woods!!

My hunny..we made it!!! sigh...

The babes...

Such a surreal moment..Dr. Coe just announcing my name...walking across the stage and Dr. Dirks cheering me on...it was like no one else was there...I didn't even hear the crowd (sorry for those who cheered me on!)

Am I actually done??

2009-05-28T22:21:00.000-07:00

After the baclaurette with Dr. Dennis and Karen Dirks. He is the dean of the seminary I went to and i've actually known him and more specifically his daughter, Jen (Hey Jen!! here's the photo I promised!) since I think 5th grade...maybe 6th...I love them and their family sooo much. It was so special to get a photo with them...I wonder if i can find one of us when I was little...i'll have to hunt...

oh...Baclaurrette (sp?) is a special hooding ceremony for graduate students. Talbot hosts a dinner at Knotts Berry farm and you can choose who hoods you (I chose a professor that I loved (not that I didn't love all of them) and who reallly walk my road with me...) My whole family was there to watch it and it was just amazing and pretty sacred. It felt more like the graduation to me than the actual graduation...

Lauren and Lindsey-two super good friends from my program

Dr. Betsy Barber and Dr. John Coe-two other professors from my program. Dr. Coe is the director of my program...sort of a nutty professor type-but wise, loving, compassionate and one who loves the Lord. I guess that would make us all a bit nutty, wouldn't it??!

Ah...Linsdey!! We made it!!

Megen...who the next night got engaged!!

Dr. Judy TenElshof

Megen and her fiance, Andrew

Ry and I...we have been at each other's graduations since High School...

Ry and his grandfather

The whole family who came-minus Daniel and Marisa

After Judy Hooded me

Getting hooded

Ry came up with me to also be honored as a spouse and for his love and time in supporting me through this program

waiting to get hooded

Daniel and my sister, Marisa

Cool photo of me walking in on my way to get hooded (thanks Daniel!)

My Family!

Me and my good friend, Charity

just before leaving, Emily was soooo excited for me. I just thought that was so cute and cool!

A week ago tomorrow I graduated from Talbot Seminary with a Masters Degree in Spiritual Formation and Soul Care...how did that happen? Didn't I just start this program??!! How is it possible that I actually completed 66 units of coursework while attempting to maintain a home with two babies (both of whom some how managed to get potty trained! amazing grace how sweet the sound!!) who are now no longer babies but full fledged kids...
I don't think I can ever express in this little update the impact of this program on my life. I hope to share a bit each time I log on to also aid and help me process what in the world just happened these past three years. In the meantime...enjoy some photos from last week